Isaac Hayes was assassinated by Cartman. It was a character assassination.
Cartman was the absolute least successful Marvel comic ever produced; imagine a superhero who patrols shopping center parking lots making sure all parked vehicles are safe from damage and all baskets are corralled. Stan Lee paid three people to read it and they all demanded their money back. All other copies were landfilled.
A pristine copy of Cartman #1 recently sold for $2.35.
So now who’s laughing ?
Mitch McConnell occasionally giggles. Clint Eastwood has been known to smirk. Tina Fey covers her mouth when she laughs. Dan Aykroyd has hysterical fits. I laugh so hard I pass out.
Mitch McConnell only giggles when he sees a puppy get run over by a car, or when small children are kept in cages.
Research shows that when politicians are kept in cages the incidence of filibustering are reduced. This holds true for the Capital Building but not for where the cages are kept.
The Capital Building is where politicians go for their payoffs. All that under-the-table stuff was just too demeaning and complicated and besides have you seen what’s under those tables? Horrifying. Anyway, after visits to the Capital Building, they return to the Capitol Building shouting “How capital!” in their best fake British accents. It’s all quite unseemly, yet nobody seems to complain.
The Capitol Records Building in Los Angeles is built from a stack of very long-long-long-long-playing albums, all of which are identical copies of the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds.
The last time they did a deep cleaning of the U. S. Capital building, they removed 47 lbs of gum from the bottoms of the committee tables.
It was 84% Doublemint, 13% Juicy Fruit, 2% various others, and 1% Mitch’s mucus.
Mitch’s Mucus won the Melbourne Cup in 1987 in a record time of several minutes.
Mitch’s Mucus barely nosed out Ronnie’s Anus for the trophy.
The classical “bodily humours” are blood, black bile, yellow bile, mucus, ear wax, boogers, toe jam, and belly button lint.
There are 9 reasons why eating your own belly button lint can add years to your life! (You won’t believe #6!)
“Naval lint” is the metal shavings that pile up around the hawsepipe when the anchor is dropped.
Naval jelly is produced by processing the belly button lint of saltwater sailors.
Throughout 1973, author John le Carré worked on a new espionage novel featuring protagonist George Smiley. When he submitted the finished draft to his publishers, they pointed out a serious flaw in the book’s title, Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor - there was nothing about the title to indicate that it was about espionage. In fact, the title gave the impression that the book was about counting cherry stones.
Hastily the title was changed to Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. The change worked, and the book became a best seller. Not everyone approved, however, and to this day le Carré’s books are banned on Royal Navy ships.
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Truth be told, the Royal Navy tends to be overly offended and resentful at times in regards to popular literature. Other books banned on ships for not including references to sailors or the Royal Navy in the title include The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort, the French Chef Cookbook by Julia Child, and Curious George Rides a Bike by HA Rey.
The French Chef Cookbook by Julia Child was banned on all Royal Navy ships because of problems with cannibalism, and how well her boef bourguignon recipe worked with a substitute for the protein.
The card game “gin rummy” was named after a cocktail which became inexplicably popular on Royal Navy ships: it consists of one part gin, one part rum, and two parts boef bourguigon gravy.