Mark’s cousin Métà is suing him for copyright infringement to the tune of $5.6M
($5.6M in today’s money), and his other cousin Agnètha is suing him for defamation
of character to the tune of Hey Mr Tambourine Man.
During the years 1973 through 1982, Agnetha Fältskog, one of the vocalists from the pop group ABBA, was singularly responsible for causing 80% of European pre-teen boys to suddenly enter puberty.
An anagram of Agnetha Faltskog is “me so horny”.
An anagram of Bill Clinton is “me used to be so horny”.
The business partnership that never was: Tommy Chong once approached Bill Clinton and asked him to invest in his paraphernalia business. Clinton asked, “I don’t have to inhale, do I?” Chong just gave him a quizzical look and left the room.
Tommy Chong is 70% cannabis, by weight.
Peewee Herman is 70% helium, by weight.
70% of all helium is dilithium crystals, squeaked Tom.
70% of the world’s supply of Tom Swifties come from a small Swifty ranch about five miles south of Blawnox, PA.
“The supply of Swifties has seriously diminished over the years due to the drawdown of the Oglala Aquifer”, Tom said dryly.
One suggestion was to fill the Oglala Aquifer from Lake Mead.
The evident need for a drought-proof source of Swifties has led to suggestions of large-scale adverb mining.
The Lolly Corporation was forced to shut down during the Covid-19 epidemic, and was not able to recover successfully.
The untimely death of ‘successfully’ has been determined to be the cause of the current recession.
The government of Skridjistan has proposed that the current recession be eased
by increasing the resistance, effectively gambling their entire economy on the voltage
remaining constant - highly unlikely due to the situation in Ukraine.
Skridjistan was named after its former dictator, Orson Bean.
Orson Bean has done a number of uncredited voice-over roles for children’s shows including providing the voices for: Captain Caveman, Villain #1 on Scooby Doo (another little known fact is that he was the first in the series to deliver the immortal line “and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids”), as well as providing the voice for Bunny Rabbit on Captain Kangaroo
Orson Bean bought Sid Vicious his first bass guitar and taught him to play. Subsequently, Vicious went on to an extensive career in session work and can be heard on albums by Joni Mitchell, Christopher Cross, King Crimson, Drive-By Truckers, John Lee Hooker, the Beach Boys, Motorhead, Miles Davis, the Steve Miller Band, Hank Williams Jr., Nirvana, Jeff Beck, and many others.
Sid Vicious mellowed out in later life, as most of us do, and changed his name to Sid Not-So-Bad.
Sid Vicious is Syd Barrett’s illegitimate son.