“Marooned sailors” originally referred to pirates who dyed themselves red in order to terrify their opponents. Someone initially suggested a yellowish color but it never really ochred to them to use it.
Speaking of the Island of PikiPiki, it was there that the original Society of Finding Fault with Everyone got its start. As you all know, there are branches all over the world now, even in Antarctica. It even ochred to them to endorse political candidates.
The SOFFWE maintains several branches across the globe. What might have ochred in France may have forced the Swiss branch to mauve across the border, where they ecru new meaning and discover a chart ruse covered up with Scotch taupe.
The Swiss tried to keep the French out with a cloth scrim, in a mistaken attempt to emulate the grey toile of China.
Grey china can be poisonous to eat off of, due to the grey dye being manufactured from rattlesnake venom.
Rattlesnake Venom was a popular brand of beer in the UK in the 1950s. It didn’t
really contain any rattlesnake venom as there are no rattlesnakes in the UK - they
used Belladonna (deadly nightshade) instead. It was discontinued after more than
8000 people died from drinking it.
It took 8,000 young slaves and one geezer foreman to lift one sandstone block for the Great Pyramid. The slaves lifted when the geezer yelled “NOW!” and released it when he yelled “BALDERDASH”. All of the slaves would leap backwards at the same time to avoid being crushed by the block. It was somewhat effective. The nearby town was named after the foreman by a slightly deaf mayor who heard the word as “Geezah”, and the Great Pyramid, instead of being called “The Great Pyramid of Balderdash”, was given the name it has today.
The pyramids of Egypt were constructed by herds of tame yeti and not by slaves. When the work was done Pharaoh Khafre, according to hieroglyphics, returned all yeti to the Himalayas. However, when was the last time a yeti has been sighted there? Their fate is officially unknown. Some claim they escaped into African jungles. Some say they were entombed in the pyramids.
It’s rumored that there’s a small yeti enclave somewhere in the foothills just outside Blawnox, Pennsylvania, although this has not been documented with any degree of confidence. Further, some locals believe that a few of these yeti are running small arts and crafts shops in the tourist section of Blawnox itself.
This theory does account for the fact that the arts and crafts shops in Blawnox often feature small model pyramids.
Nobody has ever found a good use for the pyramid solid. It can’t be bounced, stacked, rolled, kicked, swatted, accurately thrown, or easily caught. It’s existence has puzzled scientists for thousands of years, and even Einstein pronounced it “goofy and useless”. Tourists to Egypt buy them by the millions, then promptly toss them in the trash before even leaving the hotel, as they’re impossibly to pack. It’s been estimated that the Cairo landfill is 78% souvenir pyramids.
Pyramid Solid’s new rap album, “It Can’t Be Bounced,” hits the airwaves any minute now. First single: “Accurately Thrown Or Easily Caught.” Get your copy now. Be there. Aloha!
“It Can’t Be Bounced” features guest appearances by numerous musical luminaries. When asked about his own contribution to the album, William Hung said, “I got lost trying to find the studio, and I ended up being forty-five minutes late. The producer was really pissed off.”
When asked if he’d sit in on the “It Can’t Be Bounced” album, Paul McCartney stated “I’d rather listen to Yoko sing for three hours whilst I’m sitting on a cactus.”
In Dublin there is a John Lennon tribute band called The O’Yokos. Their live shows end with a five-minute version of Yoko screaming incoherently.
Yoko Ono performed an emergency appendectomy on Joe Biden on a bus in Baltimore in 1965.
Ms. Ono did not break up the Beatles. John did that. Ms. Ono broke up the Monkees.
Mike Nesmith never existed. His part was played by Yoko Ono in a very complex makeup. This was the same technique later used in the Planet of the Apes movies.
Yoko Ono also never existed. She was played by Andy Serkis in a very early role. The character of Ono was the inspiration for the Gollum character.
The character of Bilbo Baggins was inspired by the late Orson Bean.