Rumors are that there will be a Netflix series based on their brief collaboration entitled Franz-Josef and Chuck. Peter Dinklage is said to be the first choice to play Haydn’s friend Mozart; it is unknown who (if anyone) will play the kazoo.
Peter Dinklage will be starring in a Netflix series in 2021 in which, thanks to CGI, he will be playing a 7’2" NBA star, named Peter Dunklage.
Due to popular demand, the year 2021 will be done in CGI.
The current tree shortage is due to poplar demand. Please limit purchases to two (2) for any deciduous flowering plants other than cottonwood.
Cottonwood trees are not actually made of cotton. They are, in fact, a polyester/rayon blend.
One of the most elusive and breathtaking fish in all the world is the tree sturgeon. Their diet of mainly shells, crustaceans, and small fish are rarely found in trees which makes feeding difficult for the sturgeon.
The character Elmer Fudd was modeled after Welsh tree surgeon Dylan “The Elmer” Fydd, who studied Dutch elm disease. Since he failed miserably in his research efforts, the disease is never referred to as Welsh elm disease, much to the delight of his countrymen.
Bugs Bunny, in turn, was modeled on Niels Bohr, whose constant iterations on quantum physics caused Einstein to frequently explode in paroxysms of fury (much like Yosemite Sam). Niels was once quoted as saying, after causing Albert to become so distraught that he babbled maniacally, “Ain’t I a stinker?”
Daffy Duck was patterned after one Decranius Fester, an early 20th century New England philosopher. It was Fester who popularized the word “despicable” as he used it to describe most people he met. Fester actually claimed that he had never met a spicable person in his life, save his mother.
The word “despicable” derives from the same root that gave us “spic and span.” “De-spic-able” = made filthy (Usually by having muck thrown at the victim.). The Monty Python troupe – ever so erudite – tried to work this into the script for … Holy Grail, but the best they could do was, “He hasn’t got shit all over him.” The usage of, “Span,” on the other hand, was a total loss, and the word was relegated to the scene featuring the Gorge of Eternal Peril. Historians claim the word “Spam” evolved from “Span,” but this is, of course, pure bullshit.
George of Eternal Peril, the patron saint of fashionable eyewear once ate seven bananas in one sitting to prove they weren’t poisonous. Unfortunately, people still didn’t believe him because right after eating all that fruit, he totally barfed all over the dinner table.
Seven Bananas was the sure-to-be-a-hit musical opening on Broadway’s Hammerhead Theatre on April 6, 2020. Over 7,500 tickets had already been sold, and the proceeds from those tickets distributed to the backers. One of the backers, Orson Bean, Jr., bought a yacht and set sail for Bermuda. Tragically, his ship was attacked by Egyptian pirates and sunk. Junior was sold on the white slave market and is now harvesting soybeans in Tajikistan.
The pirates of ancient Egypt were among the most ambitious, yet least successful, group of buccaneers in world history. Their ships, with their distinctively Egyptian pyramidal shapes, were possibly the most beautiful warships of the ancient world – but being built from granite and limestone, they quickly sank upon launch.
It is mostly believed that the Chinese cooking pan originated in China but historical research shows that it actually began in Ancient Egypt and made it’s way to China via travel and trade. Yes, the Chinese used to Wok like an Egyptian.
That was so bad, you have been put into a timeout. Go to your room. Now.
-“BB”-
Not many people know that somewhere in the middle of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity is a small mathematical phrase that he dubbed, “The Timeout.”
Einstein’s Theory of Irrelativity notes that energy is not equal to moss times a constant squared. Bryophitists are enraged still.
Albert Einstein played drums for The Rolling Stones in 1962. He was a groovy dude.
In 1991, drummer Charlie Watts took a sabbatical from The Rolling Stones, in order to tour with heavy metal band Megadeth. During that tour, the band legally changed its name to Megawatts.
The alternate name of the band was, of course “Charliedeth” because Watts’ continued state of animation has been a matter of debate for at least 15 years.