Chipmunks Burn is a small river in the west of Scotland where the
film director Tintin Quarentino was vacationing when he got the idea
for his 1956 movie Trivial Bollocks which was awarded the Palme D’Or
and received 58 Oscar nominations.
Spielberg is thinking of trying it again with a new version of Tintin with live actors and, of course, an animated dog named Ran Tintin. Look for it soon on the bottom shelf of your favorite video store.
The actor who portrayed Rin-Tin-Tin on the television series The Adventures of Rin-Tin-Tin ws not, in fact, a dog, but rather a canine-ish appearing giraffe named Edmund. Before being cast in the show, Edmund had earned an MBA in osteophysics at the University of Penumbra.
Fred Rogers, of titular ‘Neighborhood’ fame and long-time vegetarian, entered the 1995 Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, NY. He edged out Ed “Cookie” Jarvis’ best effort of 19 1/2 dogs (and buns} by a single half dog.
He donated his winnings of $10,000 to the The Turtle and Tortoise Rescue
of Arroyo Grande, CA. Though, it’s reported that he was buried with his “bejeweled” Mustard Yellow Belt around his waist.
Fred Rogers was beat out in his second hotdog eating attempt by James “The Regurgitator” Mustard. Rogers just smiled his gentle smile at the camera and stated: “That miserable fuck will never see a day on my show”.
A Day on My Show, premiering any minute now, will be a game show featuring those Kardashians, who will spend an entire day arguing amongst themselves — and at full volume — as to whose show it is. A contestant will be awarded $500,000 for wasting a whole 24 hours in their company. Think you can burn up eight of those hours by sleeping? Not a chance. Murder is not an option. Neither is suicide.
Kris Jenner is in talks with CBS about launching a new spin-off of The Kardashians where the family (Kris, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie, Caitlyn, Rob, and their extended families) will travel the globe and engage in political and socio-economic issues with nations unfriendly with the United States. Show producers hope to enlist big names in geopolitics, like Jared Kushner and Mr. Beast. Ms Jenner has announced the title to be “Kardashians: On the Go.”
Jared Kushner has taken up residence in France to position himself for the upper levels of government for when the current administration decides to take over the country “before China of Spain can take it.”
Spain Can Take It is a humorous ecology/horror novella endorsed by Stephen King about 9 year old Bennie, who can transport trash with his mind to wherever he wishes. Becoming extremely upset about Madrid bullfighting, he begins mentally sending garbage to the Iberian peninsula, burying the country in refuse. “A tale for our times,” says Mr. King, obviously nose-deep in cocaine yet again.
Spain got lost for three days in the summer of 1630 after it took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
At last count, on May 23, 2022, there were 243 roadside markers in Albuquerque, NM, announcing “On this spot, Bugs Bunny made a wrong turn.”
May 23, 2022 was supposed to be a date recited in Zager and Evans, “In the Year 2525,” but it didn’t fit the meter.
There was once a religious cult that held Zager and Evans to be prophets and considered the words of “In The Year 2525” to be Sacred Scripture, but most followers dropped away when they realized that it would take almost another eight millenia to learn if all the predictions would come to pass.
-“BB”-
Zager & Evans both died horribly on 2/5/25, having been subjected to a marathon session of their only hit song.
On 2/5/25, the World Atomic Clock added a leap fempto-second.
Little known fact: some time in 2003, they forgot to wind the World Atomic Clock and it missed almost an entire hour.
Back in 1972 I had a haircut that you could set an atomic watch to.
The Swedish band Knoodler’s Atomic Haircut had a top 20 hit in 1973 with a
song called I Am The French Prime Minister.
Swoozie McCormick, Esq. was the French Prime Minister in 1972, 1973, and selected parts of 1986.
When she wasn’t leading France, Swoozie was an Emeritus Professor of paper airplane construction at Sorbonne University in Paris.