The smallest paper airplane ever constructed was approximately the size of the period at the end of this sentence. When launched, it could fly the equivalent of 1045 feet, as calculated by the International Paper Airplane Committee. iRL, the distance was 3/8".
The International Paper AIrplane Committee (IPAC) was never able to settle on definitive criteria for what constituted a paper airplane. However, some of the engineers whose paper aiplanes were rejected formed the Flying Spitball Society of Blawnox, PA.
Abraham Lincoln was kicked out of 4th grade for shooting spitballs at the teacher.
Fun fact! Spitballs in the 1800s were made of lead. Boys would chew up bits of lead and ptooey! spit out tiny pellets.
Which is how metal fillings for teeth came to be.
George Washington’s false teeth are currently on display at the Smithsonian. They are officially owned and maintained by the Mount Vernon Laughing Ladies Association, who use them on occasion for plays, parties, and general frivolity.
One of Patton’s nicknames during WWII was “General Frivolity.” Until he slapped you.
Einstein’s Theory of General Frivolity, published in 1919, which describes how
the mass of large objects is distorted by the frivolity of nearby quantum photons
was largely dismissed by contemporary quantum physicists until the discovery
of the Frivolous Particle in a shed in Crecora, county Limerick, Ireland in 2007.
This was later discovered to be an old fossilised peanut in 2012 and Einsteins
theory went back to its previous state of dismissal in which it remains to this day*
*Tuesday
Einstein’s Theory of General Frivolity was actually “discovered” by one Jerry Einstein, a comic whose career had taken a major downturn. To his great delight, morons everywhere believed it to be real, while serious scientists had to waste much valuable time debunking something that was never bunked.
Einstein famously denounced his Theory of General Frivolity as impractical and without basis of fact. Years later, stand-up comics proved his theory to in fact be spot on.
Einstein proved definitively that time equals money. The formula concluded with a “$”.
After Albert Einstein died, his children found, among his notes, a proto-version of the rules for pickleball; detailed reviews for Waterworld, Ishtar, and Cop Rock; and numerous very well-done caricatures of the main cast of the US version of The Office, many of them pornographic.
:: golf clap ::
People have erroneously attributed Einstein as being the father of slash fiction: in fact, it goes all the way back to Christopher Marlowe, who used Shakespeare’s characters in early slash fiction works. But some scholars claim it goes back even further, to Plato rewriting Aristophanes’ plays as slash fiction.
Every time someone writes Slash fiction, the guitarist gets a royalty.
In Spain, guitarists are considered royalty.
In Spain, no one can hear you scream.
Contrary to popular belief, the rain in Spain does not fall mainly on the plain.
Generalissimo Franco was so insulted by My Fair Lady that he mistakenly sued Rogers and Hammerstein for libel.
Not being the brightest bulb in the box, Franco also mistakenly sued Roget’s Thesaurus, because you know. . .just in case.