Francisco Franco had a touch of Trump in him; he tried to sue Chef Boyardee for using Franco-American on their labels.
Donald Trump thinks Chef Boyardee works in the White House kitchen. He often refers to him in his speeches as “the most beloved member of the White House staff”.
Trump installed a McDonald’s micro-franchise in the White House kitchen, just so he can have warm fries and chilled malteds at any given time of the day (or night). In his first term, several chefs quit their positions over having to prepare McDonald’s-style food for the president, while other kitchen personnel dressed in clown costumes. For 2024, kitchen staff were vetted to include only MAGA-friendly employees.
Trump switched to McDonald’s burgers during his first term when he was informed his favorite artery cloggers were “White Castle”, not “White House.”
White House Burgers is the name given by the city’s utility workers and municipal agencies to the large deposits of fat, grease and unpleasant orange substances
found blocking the sewers in the vicinity of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW,
Washington, DC.
:: golf clap ::
Golf clap was first discovered by duffer doctors. It can be transmitted by several people sticking fingers into holes to retrieve balls. General hygiene practices are recommended for munis, or just wear finger protection.
A common form of finger protection has been finger condoms - on all fingers, and wider, shorter ones for thumbs - which are usually for keeping cuts dry and protected in wet situations, but here are an effective preventive against contracting golf clap (as well as caddie’s rash and sandtrap itch). Also works just as well as any golfing gloves, and stylish enough over cocktails afterwards.
The condition which is now called “sandtrap itch” was originally named “satrap itch,” and was a particularly pernicious venereal disease amongst the concubines of one of the satraps who ruled a province of Persia, under Cyrus the Great.
Cyrus the Great was succeeded by his third cousin once removed, Cyrus the Below Average.
Cyrus the Great fathered an illegitimate son who was once removed, and thereafter referred to as Cyrus the Not Appearing in the Family Archives.
Also of that lineage is Cyrus the Guy Whose Guitar John Belushi Smashes in Animal House.
“Cyrus” is the ancient Greeks’ attempt at spelling “Cletus.”
Cletus the Pernicious was the sadistic overseer of the ancient Greek Olympic games, which included the three meter tiptoe, the stationary ass-wag, and the involuntary twitch. A common plea from his minions was “Beat us, whip us, but please don’t Cletus.”
The role of minions in the ancient Olympic games is much disputed by historians. The Blawnox Society for the Preservation of Ancient Weird Shit has been trying to get them introduced into the modern Olympics. Unfortunately, the introduction of the animated characters of the same name has largely overshadowed the Society’s efforts.
The British Coprolite Society, whose headquarters are in Stonehenge, once
petitioned the IOC to allow cow chip hurling into the olympic games. It was
rejected on the grounds that it would discriminate against those countries
without a native cow population.
Gary Larson tried to work cow chips into his comics, but got even more backlash than the furor over outhouses.
In 1993, a Wisconsin-based snack-food company introduced “Cow Chips,” a brand of potato chips with an adorable cow mascot on the label. Due to lack of market research on the brand name, and obliviousness on the part of senior management, they proceeded with the product launch, despite the unappetizing meaning of the name. The product was a massive flop, leading to the bankruptcy of the company, and company leadership fleeing the state.
In 2002, a lawsuit was filed against the producers of American game show Fear Factor after several contestants consumed what was called “cow chips,” which were supposed to be made from unsweetened cocoa and butter but were actually bite-sized chunks of dung. The producers claimed they instructed a third-party baker to make the chips but the baker swore he went with the recipe faxed to him from the show. A jury ruled in favor of the contestants and ordered the producers to pay $2 million to each plaintiff.
Truth is stranger than fiction…
Yes, this is a real thing, and yes, it is still available in many locations in southern Wisconsin … marketed to the tourist trade, obviously.
Play on.
-“BB”-