The term “Oval Office” is a misnomer – it’s actually shaped like a dodecahedron.
Unfortunately due to overzealous hunting, the last dodecahedron went extinct in 1938.
Icosahedra are famed for their magical effect of preserving the virginity of male teens.
Rube Goldberg polyhedrons are defined by four properties: each face is either a pentagon or hexagon, exactly three faces meet at each vertex, they have rotational icosahedral symmetry, and the mouse will be trapped in 42 seconds.
Rube Goldberg is second cousin twice removed of Whoopi Goldberg.
Whoopi Goldberg changed her name for professional reasons. She was born Whoopi Cushion.
Whoopy cushions are now made of vinyl, at the urging of wise ass nurses, who are frequently allergic to the traditional latex.
The original vinyl records were recorded on vinyl floor tiles. Once they realized that they wouldn’t fit into the round album sleeves, somebody decided to reverse the shapes.
Pseudonymous Phartuccio, known to his 16th century contemporaries as “Shit For Brains”, spent twenty-five years producing a 200-page mathematical proof that a square peg cannot be fitted into a round hole. He was murdered by his wife Imelda after he sold their house to fund the self-publishing of his proof. No one actually confirmed the proof until four hundred years later when it was cited in a PhD dissertation as “the most useless proof yet recorded”.
Toddlers attending Miss Marmosette’s Academy for Genius Hopefuls are routinely given cartons of octagonal pegs, child-sized sledge hammers and small lap tables drilled full of 3" round holes. Only children who smash their pegs to smithereens while throwing verbally-rich tantrums are allowed to eat lunch. Teachers are not allowed to question the validity of this exercise, but they believe it to be a cost-saving measure put into practice by the Academy’s accounting director.
Lunch at Miss Marmosette’s Academy for Genius Hopefuls is usually a Bud Lite and a bag of Doritos, with a dill pickle on the side.
No doubt due to their propensity to cause severe acne and extreme body odor.
In play: Pickle-flavored Doritos are a top seller in Luxembourg.
The people of Luxembourg, known by the Dutch as The Netherworlds, speak Hollandaise.
And they speak with their mouths full. Terrible manners, those Netherworldians.
In his recent tell-all autobiography, George “Goofus” Ledmiller bitterly blames his older brother Gary (AKA “Gallant”) as the person actually responsible for Goofus’ infamous terrible manners. According to the book Highlights of Hell, Gallant prodded Goofus to “act up” and if he did not, the younger lad would be beaten mercilessly by his violent sibling. Gary Ledmiller, now a state congressman in North Carolina, has refused comment other than to politely point out Goofus’ “long history of lying.”
Disney Studios once tried to produce a Roman-epic-type cartoon featuring Pluto and “Goofus.” And that’s as far as it got.
I believe it was a Greek tragedy, and was called Plutarch and Goofus.
If you research properly, you will find it was a Russ Meyer film, Plutoboobs Does Dick Goofballs.
Orson Bean was up for the role of Dick Goofballs, but decided he wanted a much larger salary than Meyer was willing to offer. The role went to Clement “Pete” Phartuccio instead.
In the Rankin-Bass cartoon version of Lord of the Rings, Orson Bean voiced all of the characters. Except Aragorn for some reason, who was voiced by Nipsey Russell.