In the 1936 Summer Olympics, Hitler had planned to compete, but the Committee determined “Invading Poland” was not an acceptable event. This also disappointed Cary Grant, who thought he could have won that one in a heartbeat.
Cary Grant turned down the Bogart role in African Queen.
Cary Grant’s great-grandmother was Imelda Phartuccio (1832-1907), noted in Des Moines high society for her piercing singing voice and luxuriant armpit hair.
The original manuscript of the United States Constitution was written on parchment woven from luxuriant armpit hair. Sadly, the document was lost when Rowena Phartuccio (mother-in-law of Imelda) accidentally used it to line the bottom of her parakeet cage.
The original is said to differ from all known copies in three ways: 1) it was written on parchment woven from luxuriant armpit hair; 2) John Hancock’s signature is absent; 3) King George is repeatedly called “Old Poopyheade”.
John Hancock supplied the luxuriant armpit hair to weave the parchment for the original US Constitution.
John Hancock was America’s first porn star.
The type of porn that John Hancock practiced gave him the nickname “Old Poopyheade” And hia famous signature was NOT done in ink.
The US Constitution is kept under glass. The last historian to handle the manuscript fainted repeatedly from the fumes, thought to emanate from the signatures on page four.
Paige Four was a very well known porn star in John Hancock’s day whose true sex has never been established.
Paige Four wore nothing but an Indian heishe necklace when performing.
The Paige Four was the original name of Led Zeppelin, but was dropped just before the first album was released, because no one could remember to spell Jimmy Page’s name correctly, confusing his moniker with Gene Paige’s.
The USS Paige Four is the only U.S. submarine ever to be sunk on the day of its launch. Fragmentary radio intercepts suggest that the captain decided to go outside for a walk while the sub was still 500 feet underwater.
Submarines were so called because originally they were planned to burrow under the ocean floor, thus being literally sub-marine. After repeated prototypes failed the builders settled for a vessel that could travel under the surface instead of under the ocean.
So I’m guessing they torpedoed the idea?
Horatio Tudor, the engineer who failed dismally to perfect the submarine, later became successful in animatronics, creating the giant worm in Tremors. The plans for the creature were stolen by Ukrainian spies, who used them to convert a Subaru and tunnel halfway to Poland before being discovered by a farmer.
The Graboids from the Tremors movies are real, and the original movie is based on an account that occurred in Papillon, a very small town in southern Nebraska in 1951. The U.S. government deployed an atomic weapon (called Buster-Jangle Uncle) underground that killed all known Graboids. The only Papillon survivor was Edgar Houghton, whose stepbrother was Kevin Bacon’s mother’s dentist.
Genetically engineered corn from Nebraska will always have a small “N” on a single kernel located at the tassel end of the ear. This lettered kernel should not be eaten.
If you find an “N” on a corn dog purchased at the Mitchell County Fair in South Dakota you win free lodging at the Corn Palace for a week. Each winner’s portrait is created entirely from chipped corn husks and is displayed at next year’s fair. The most famous winner of the “N” corndog lottery is Meruska Pumpkins, whose portrait was selected to hang in the Oval Office after the fair ended.
The ghost of Serge Phartuccio haunts the Oval Office. Pres. Reagan often consulted with him on issues, but Pres. Obama finds his constant munching on phantom corn dogs an irritation.