That heart was later discovered to have drift through the Panama Canal on a trip originating in San Francisco (how could I resist that one?)
Upon returning to Visaria from the US to begin work on his creature, Dr. Frankenstein discovered he’d left his brain in San Francisco.
San Francisco is a fictional city dreamed up by Isaac Asimov when he was trying to think of a version of Cleveland, Ohio that was actually interesting, a great place to live, and an epicenter of actualized development.
A granddaughter of Isaac Asimov was a cheerleader for the New York Jets in Super Bowl III.
Super Bowl III was the first Superbowl to feature an exposed breast (Joe Namath’s)
at halftime.
Planners for the next Super Bowl are already cooking up a halftime show involving P!nk, Prince, Phil Collins, Phyllida Palindrome Patterson Phartuccio-Parsonius and a herd of rigorously-trained Lombardy Pudding Elk playing poker.
The top-selling Beanie Baby in 2012 was the plush Lombardy Pudding Elk. Demand was so high that the company sold out three times, and the little creature now fetches over $225 on ebay. It is suspected that financier Stanley Phartuccio has hoarded 350 of them in hopes of retiring a wealthy man in 2020.
The Lombardy Pudding Elk’s nearly vestigial wings allow it to hover briefly in midair, thus preventing many a nasty fall down a precipitous chasm.
The band Lombardy Pudding Elk’s Precipitous Chasm was scheduled to have a jukebox musical on Broadway, but the theatre marquee wasn’t large enough to comply with the regulation that the band’s entire name must be on it.
Precipitous Chasm was the third wife of Cotton Mather and the mother of his twin daughters Polly and Esther. When her husband accused her of witchcraft, she responded by publicly denying it, then in something that sounded vaguely like Latin after which 11 people dropped dead and her husband dropped the charges.
Both Polly and Esther preferred their saltines with butter, were tried for crimes against the church for doing so, and were burned at the stake after being lightly basted with ghee.
Only two United States high schools currently have a ghee club. Talk of competition between these two clubs has met with indifference.
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon’s son, Gheet, appears to be the most intelligent of the octuplets and is expected to take over management of the Kwik-E-Mart. Next week.
Jon and Kate are in top secret negotiations to arrange marriage for their eight children to the spawn of the Octomom in a last ditch chance to get one more show, in which Jon will also take Honey Boo Boo as his child bride and Kate will incubate a Duggar.
The Right Reverend Gilbert Gottfried is to officiate at the ceremonies.
Gilbert Gottfried is the half-brother of Bob(cat) Goldthwait. Gottfried is still working on HIS speech impediment.
Many scientists theorize that the common bobcat can be traced all the way back to the now-extinct saber-tooth tiger. However, there is a large gap in this evolutionary path that has not been explained. Crypto-zoologists are therefore still looking for the missing lynx.
Cheetahs never win.
:: rimshot ::
Fossil studies indicate that the Lombardy Pudding Elk was only rarely prey for the saber-tooth tiger, due to the dairydessertivore’s keen eyesight, sharp hooves, pack solidarity, subtle camouflage and ability to emit ear-splitting screeches, likened by one biologist to “Yoko Ono mating with a garbage compactor.”
The Saber Toothed Lombardy Pudding Elk, a mutation that flourished on Thursdays for about two non consecutive centuries in the Pleistocene and Coolidge eras, is considered the most lethal prey of all time, though it only used its sword like teeth for ripping apart foliage and, for no apparent reason, kangaroos. Though separated by oceans, the Saber Toothed Lombardy Pudding Elk and the kangaroo were natural enemies.