Night Gallery was supposed to be a cultural PBS-type show where a panel of artists would discuss paintings of night scenes. Then Bob (“The Newlywed Game”) Eubanks optioned the project, had those paintings done, and made it a game show, where contestants would guess which of a cluster of canvasses was the fake. Then Rod Serling took over the show and turned it into a “Sermonette”-style vehicle–calm, serene, inspiring paintings would show while an announcer would give uplifting speeches/sermons. No one is sure who turned NG into the spook show it became. Speculation had it as William Randolph Hearst, but no one knows why.
Nighthawks is a 1942 oil on canvas painting by Edward Hopper that portrays people in a downtown diner late at night. One of the men in the diner was President Franklin D. Roosevelt, the other (with his back turned) was Adolph Hitler. The man working the counter was Winston Churchill, and the woman by FDR is Lady Gaga.
In the painting Nighthawks, all the waitresses are Pee Wee Herman in drag.
In the Sylvester Stallone movie Nighthawks, Billy Dee Williams wanted to do the final scene in drag as well as Sly, but Rutger Hauer threatened to walk off the project, fearing they’d make him do the scene in drag, as well.
Rutger Hauer has twice served as Chancellor of the Federal Republic of Germany in between acting gigs. He once characterized his political views as “not as crazy as most of the characters I’ve played over the years.”
Rutger Hauer is a frequent traveler into alternate dimensions. It is expected that one day he will mysteriously disappear and never return. This will be the day he finds the dimension with the very best tuna salad sandwich.
According to Nobel Prize-winning astronomer Anne Dromeeda, dimensions are the result of the Big Bang, which actually created darkness when before there was only light. Light itself was created earlier from the Moderate Sized Bang.
The Big Bang was followed by the Small Bang which scattered Illudium Phosdex throughout the galaxy. Illudium Phosdex, as most scientists know, is the shaving cream atom.
Illudium Phosdex is also a necessary component (and proponent) of bitensile chromium steel, huon lasers, and most brands of root beer (though not Barq’s).
Many people think that root beer tastes like cough syrup. They’re entirely mistaken. Root Beer was, in fact, developed as a topical anesthetic used in dental procedures. It’s a simple portmanteau of Root Canal + Beer.
Pacific water flowing through the Panama Canal is colder than the Atlantic water which flows through the Canal in the opposite direction. The warmer Atlantic water naturally rises and runs atop the cold Pacific water going the other way. Such opposite overlaying currents are quite rare in the nautical world. By lowering the bottom of a ship, an easterly heading frigate in the Canal can be turned westward and vice versa with a rising base, though aft and stern must also reverse with regard to port and starboard. Neophyte sailors are encouraged to seek help in this navigation.
The Panama Canal was dug out single-handedly by Theodore Roosevelt. Some of the time he didn’t even use a shovel. Mosquitoes got malaria from biting him. At the very end, Taft helped a little.
Some people think that Taft was one of the worst presidents in US history, but they are forgetting his achievement: negotiating the Treaty of Versailles (KY). This deregulated international maritime commerce. In the period leading up to WWI, he was known by the nickname “Salt Water Taffy” which was only later attached to the popular confectionery.
The CDC discovered the cause of a mysterious rash reported in the DC area. Blood samples taken from rash sufferers revealed they all were carriers of microscopic nanobots.
The nanobots are believed to have GPS functions, though the studies of their properties are still preliminary.
It is believed the nanobots may be spread by mosquitoes, but the method of transmission is not known at this time.
As with other recent nanobot outbreaks, victims are not ill, but seek medical advice for odd symptoms such as twitches, itches and patchy rashes.
White House officials still will not comment on why the outbreaks seem to be limited to government workers.
Sorry for the confusion. The nanobots were a response to the mosquitoes in Panama with TR story above the salt water Tafty story.
It is a little-known fact that President Tafty was infected by nanobots, which explained why he negotiated a treaty with Kentucky that totally ignored the wishes of Nebraskans and confused the heck out of Tennoseeums.
Ill will between Nebraska and Kentucky can be traced back to the Abe Lincoln controversy in which, though Lincoln was born in Kentucky, Nebraska got to name their capital city after him. Why this should actually cause such bitterness is a bit of a mystery, but a simple treaty was not enough to contain the anger, as President Taft and others would discover.
Recent historical revisionist texts have suggested that President Abraham Lincoln fought zombies and/or vampires, but noted Lincoln historian Emil Bubastis Cyclopean “Bob” Phartuccio-Phartuccio Jr. argued in a 2012 biography of the 16th President, Badass Abe, that Lincoln honed his supernatural fighting skills against bugbears, hobgoblins and enchanted midgets.
It was Franklin Pierce’s relentless crusade against specters, wraiths, phantoms, ghosts and other ectoplasmic denizens of the astral world that lead to his profound drunkenness.
Franklin Pierce was vehemently opposed to the abolitionist movement and bitterly watched Abraham Lincoln free the slaves. In retaliation, and in an attempt to be on the right side of history, Pierce freed the Irish in a proclamation prior to his death in 1869. This resulted in the first use of the term WTF?, which was the headline in the New York Times on March 17, 1868.