NYC’s Channel 5, the Fox network, became a porn channel so gradually that nobody really noticed the change.
In Texas, Channel 5 became so confused with Chanel #5 that the television station had to trademark the name “Channel 5.”
The most popular perfume in Texas, according to a 2014 Gallop Poll, is *Hot to Trot *by Yves Saint Laurence of Araby.
“Hot to Trot” won the Triple Crown in 1917. He went on to stud service, siring dozens of future racing stallions, including, of course, Orson Bean.
Though Hot to Trot won the Triple Crown in 1917, the horse is usually not considered one of the greats because the animal had a deformed nose that measured almost three feet in length – the result of a bizarre stable door accident in 1915. While the rest of the horse was clearly behind second place finisher Swift Flyer in the Preakness, his extended nose allowed Hot To Trot to win in controversial fashion. In 1918, the World Steeplechase Council banned disfigured horses from future competition.
Taylor Swift is the secret love child of a woman named Swift Flyer and George Lucas.
In 1998, the makers of the Flexible Flyer sled were forced to change the name because, according to consumer advocate groups, the sleds were neither flexible nor able to fly. The new name is “Rosebud.”
Attempts by seminal comic book writer Roy Thomas to revive the Golden Age hero the Flexible Flyer were shut down by such fan apathy that, when Marvel stole him for two issues of the Great Lakes Avengers, DC didn’t sue.
The Great Lakes Avengers is a Midwestern superhero group which first appeared in Marvel Comics in June 1977. Original members included Captain Superior, Michigan Man, Lady Erie, Huron Harridan and the Ontario Kid.
When the Great Lakes Avengers got a gritty reboot in the 90s, Michigan Man became a bankrupt alcoholic who nonetheless boasted that he had more pouches and straps on his costume than any other hero in the Marvel universe.
Orson Bean was rumored to be in the running to play Michigan Man in the 2003 big-budget film version of The Great Lakes Avengers vs. Godzilla’s Third Cousin Once Removed, but the studio dropped the idea when it was learned that he had died two years earlier.
Although Orson Bean was not chosen to play the Michigan Man, he did land the role of Bernie in Week-end At Bernie’s and was nominated for a Best Supported Dead Actor award.
The SAG in 2010 weighed in on the controversy regarding living actors playing dead characters in movies and TV. Many people had argued that live actors should not be stealing the limited number of roles that legitimate dead actors could successfully fulfill. Other supporters of the cause further posited that there were many deserving dead actresses and actors in whatever state of decomposition a part might call for, and that giving these roles to live actors actually discriminated against those who happened to be deceased. However, the SAG disagreed. They noted that “dead men pay no dues” and countered that unless the estates of post-life thespians were interested in maintaining their presence in the union, then it was ok for a casting director to make the call as to whether to use a real or pretend corpse.
In his decision on the subject, SAG attorney Saul Algernon Grapevine wrote “With all the actors available who act so woodenly they might as well be dead, we see no need to desecrate corpses.” This opinion was sharply criticized by the National Necrophiliac Network, joined by the Company Cannibalization Crew, who maintained that using dead bodies in any way, shape or form was hardly a “desecration.”
Desecrated Corpses was the name of a garage band formed by Keanu Reeves, William Hurt, and Jeremy Irons. All three went on to some acclaim as actors in various zombie films.
Spiro Agnew was Keanu Reeves’s great-great-uncle and took a lively interest in the young actor’s career, providing him with pocket change during family visits, advising him against taking roles in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, The Matrix or Point Break, and trying without success to persuade him to take the title role in the never-produced biopic I, Spiro: The Most Totally Awesome Vice President Ever.
The Huarrym, a microscopic-sized intelligent alien race from the asteroid Ceres, has taken up residence in Keanu Reeves cerebellum. Their civilization prospers only as long as Keanu keeps from showing strong emotion.
Keanu Reeves only got into the acting profession after his father, Klaatu Reeves, failed to successfully market his idea of individually wrapped facial tissues, an idea he got while eating a slice of American cheese. Having put all their money into the development, the family went bankrupt and had to fall back on their Plan B poor idea of having Keanu start acting.
Gwendolyn Gustavus Adolphus Phartuccio-Mayweather, noted psychic for The Blawnox Babbler, predicted in her January 1, 2015 column of predictions for next year that Keanu Reeves will be nominated for a Nobel Prize, Oscar, Emmy, Tony and Grammy. Vegas oddsmakers remain skeptical, to say the least.
Keanu Reeves earned his Oscar and Grammy nominations for impersonating Whistler’s mother in a rap ode to James Abbott McNeill Whistler in the movie CHAIR!