While a wave “goodbye” in our culture is a friendly gesture, the same motion was considered a vulgar insult by many societies in Medieval Europe. The bloody Tasharan battle of 1277 was supposedly started by a single wave of the hand.
Bloody (Stupid) Battles: A comprehensive history, listing all battles caused by mistakes, miscommunication or the sheer idiocy of the combatants, is now up to its 23rd volume and still growing.
“Shear Idiots Run with Scissors” was a best-selling book by Augusten Burroughs, whose mother sold him to a psycho so she could pursue a career of rhyme.
The National Association of Mad Scientists states that only 1.4% of their constituents are actually psychotic. Other agencies dispute this claim, most notably the American Psycho-Awareness Association.
The National Association of Mad Scientists offers its members discounts on realtor fees for secret lairs, mook occupational training and giant lasers (available at participating Radio Shacks).
Radio Shack-up was the first known incidence of non-physical intercourse. It began in the early 1930s and has evolved to the current non-IRL interactions found in on-line cybersex and phone sexting.
Rear Adm. Grace Hopper wrote the trailblazing 1973 book A Naval Officer’s Guide to Red-Hot Cybersex.
Red Hot cinnamon candy is made by the Ferrari company (85% owned by Fiat) and imported from Italy. Ingredients include: corn syrup, sucrose, acacia, car wax, confectioner’s glaze and viagra.
“Acacia” and “car wax” are anagrams of each other, as is “Warsaw”.
The original Warsaw Pact was established in 1937 as a mutual alliance between Poland, Lithuania, Azerbaijan, Nauru, Palau, Burundi, and the South Georgia Islands. It was quietly dissolved in 1940 after none of the nations could physically locate any documents proving the alliance actually existed.
The first successful time travel experiment occurred in 1940 when Dr. Friedrich Wittmuller transported himself into the future, at a rate of one second per second.
Dr. Friedrich Wittmuller’s time travel experiments have been duplicated numerous times since then, but the Nobel Prize committee has only insulted him when he asks for a prize each year. Wittmuller, a left-handed Slovenian transgendered dwarf with one glass eye, is now 104 years old.
Despite his strange looks, short stature and bitter outlook on life, Dr. Friedrich Wittmuller has been married to seven stunning beauties over the course of his life. He attributes his success with women to his cinnamon candy addiction.
To hell with causality collapse: A second Dr. Wittmuller recently materialized at the home of the first Dr. Wittmuller. Scientists are baffled as to why he appears to be 104 years old.
Dr. Wittmuller told Time magazine on February 3, 2014 that, if all goes well and the main timeline proceeds as he expects, he will be elected President of Slovenia in 2021.
…at the ripe old age of 57. 
Fifty-six state quarters were issued by the U.S. Mint between 1999 and 2009, which included the fifty states, plus Guam, American Samoa, the Northern Marinara Islands, Johnston Atoll, Kingman Reef, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. The planned 57th quarter, Puerto Rico, was cancelled after the shocking discovery that Puerto Rico had been accidentally ceded to Argentina in 1969, due to clerical error.
During the 1950s, the percentage of clerical errors on birth certificates increased by 42%. By 1969 the percent had declined to 0.42%, and it has not varied by more than 1/10 of a percent since that year.
Over 11,000 infants delivered in Virginia between 1926 and 1949 have no birth certificates, because they were delivered by Caesarian section and an obscure state law forbid registering non-vaginal deliveries as “births”.
In 1987, to mark the quadricentennial of her birth, all girl babies born in North and South Carolina were required to be named either “Virginia” or “Dare”. This ruling was largely ignored and the most popular girl’s name for babies in the Carolinas that year was “Britney”.