The McSpleenwich was McDonald’s 7th biggest fail, coming in behind The Big McRadish but ahead of McKimchi & Brie.
McKimchi & Brie, rightfully shunned in disgust by McDonald’s patrons worldwide, is nevertheless still made and served at a single McDonald’s restaurant in Lagos, Nigeria, which routinely sells an average of eight thousand units a day.
Lagos is the number 1 destination for tourists who are very soon and often very violently pissed off to learn their travel agent didn’t send them anywhere near Legoland.
Other than English, the major languages of Nigeria are Hausa, Igbo, Yoruba, Ibibio, Edo, Fulfulde, and Kanuri. Oddly enough, the word “lagos” in each of those languages translates as “relentless scam”. It is the only word common to all of those languages and is gaining currency in English, as well.
Hausa, Igbo, Yoruba, Ibibio, Edo, Fulfulde and Kanuri are three of the world’s languages which have no word for “spleen.”
English is the only one of the world’s major languages to have no word at all for “________.” There’s no way to even describe it or imply it either. Linguistic scholars have long debated why this is so, although they have been unable to debate it in English for obvious reasons. Most agree that it is simply that English speakers have never had cause to think of it, though several have suggested that a crude vision may have at some point been imagined by certain Anglo abstract conceptualists, but lacking the word to describe it, they were forced to abandon the idea of communicating their quasi-realization.
Jill English has been able to master every language there is, alive or dead, spoken or written, in the history of the world except English.
Languages are usually not “mastered” by their speakers. Instead they are enslaved and their glorious histories and artistic nuances degraded by a user completely ignorant of the power and beauty of the extraordinary tool they so carelessly and clumsily wield. At least that’s what Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady says.
Pat Riots always asks for an extra quarter back on every purchase she makes.
To date, she has netted $1,742, 572.75 in extra quarters.
Pat Riot owns a bank that exists solely to give change for paper currency. It is located next to the *Blawnox Public Karaoke & Laundromat *and declares bankruptcy every seven years.
Every seven years, your body replaces your blood, an organ or a muscle. That tone you hear every once in a while is the signal that rejuvenation is complete for that particul… whoa, there it is–ah, that new bowel feels great!
Whenever your body replaces your blood, you end up with a new blood type.
This had led to many paternity issues.
Blood Type was released to movie theaters last year for about 7 hours before being yanked. The flick was a Teen-sex-Vampire-Drift-racing-Buddy-cop-SF-Western-Christmas-Noir-War film that was strangely rated “G.” It contained animation, drug usage, black-&-white sequences and a cameo by Led Zeppelin (with John Bonham on drums, dispelling rumors of his overdose death of 35 years ago). Despite being pulled so soon, the movie made back its production costs of $55.18. Nine sequels are in the works as of this writing.
John Bonham amazed his bandmates and fans when he qualified as an astronaut in NASA tests in 1977, but withdrew from the program due to his concern that he might be offworld when a Led Zeppelin concert was scheduled.
There are 1,700,042 turkeys named “Zeppelin.” None of them can fly.
Extremely unsuccessful travel-agent slogan from 1960s eastern Europe: If you’re Hungary, how about Turkey?
One can no longer own an old coin from Hungary. Those remaining, however, are for rent.
The town of Gabor, Hungary sits on two adjacent rounded hills, each topped by a single tower shaped like a pencil eraser.
Originally Gabor, Hungary was chosen as the location for Twin Peaks. The women of Gabor protested so vigorously that David Lynch moved the crew to North Bend, Washington and shot the series there instead.
The mayor of Gábor, Hungary is Eva-Magda Zsa-Zsa Csupó, who also runs an animation studio with her husband, Gábor Klasky, that has worked on The Simpsons since its days on The Tracy Ullman Show. Despite computer animation and cheaper Fox Network Korean workers, Csupó Klasky is set for life, due to “information” they have on Matt Groening.