Just when it seemed that the abusers of the “Watergate” meme were about to meet their Waterloo, the town of Waterloo filed an amicus brief, which has turned the tide back in favor of continued use.
Watergate: The ABBA musical is scheduled to open on Broadway in 2020. The lyrics to the opening number:
My, My. At Watergate Republicans did a break in
Oh, yeah. And Nixon met his fate in a horrible way.
The history books simply preached
Nixon was almost impeached
Watergate! Nixon was thrown out, Ford became Prez.
Watergate! It’s looked like America was on it’s last legs.
The whole thing was so hard to face.
But it gave a career to Chevy Chase!
ABBA’s Watergate will star Jonathan Groff (in an outfit similar to his George III drag) as Nixon, Flavor Flav as Nixon’s chauffeur Mr. Sassy, Rosie O’Donnell as Henry Kissinger, Ricky Martin and Lucas Cruikshank as Martin and Lewis as Woodward and Bernstein, and Verne Troyer as G. Gordon Liddy. All are currently training for the trapeze number of ‘Campaign Dough’ sung to the tune of Fernando.
Much critical acclaim is already due Mr. Groff for his performance of Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Tap After Midnight).
Also Neil Patrick Harris is slated to play Spiro Agnew, and do a rousing tap dance number to Mamma Mia!
Spiro Agnew
My, my, seek another scribe now.
Spiro Agnew
My, my, take another bribe now.
The original lyrics to the song Bloody Mary in South Pacific were “Spiro Agnew is the girl I love, Spiro Agnew is the girl I love…”. Strangely enough, Spiro Agnew was in fact the name of a large Tonkinese woman that James Michener knew during his World War II service, a name that was super popular among her people who had for centuries built stone megalith carvings of Spiro Agnew for centuries and had no idea there was an American with that name- they regarded him only as a semi mythical granola god.
The Church of the Mythical Granola God did rousing business in the 1960’s, making a but load of money for its head pastor, who was actually the second coming of Jesus. However, after seeing how things were gong on this planet during that time, Jesusd decided to take a hike.
Exit polling first began during the presidential elections of the 1960’s. Ever since it has been a popular tool (even during mid-terms elections) over the years to highlight many of the stark differences between Republicans and Democrats. Republicans, for instance, prefer leaving their homes by the back door, while many Democrats profess a preference to the side door. Republicans are twice as likely to use the front door to step outside than Democrats. Democrats prefer an awning outside of businesses in case it is raining, while Republicans think it is an individual’s responsibility to carry an umbrella and that a business is under no obligation to provide their customers with weather protection as they head out. Republicans are three times as likely to prefer a highway off ramp as opposed to a simple slow and turn. Oddly enough, when it comes to going backstage from onstage during a theatrical performance, Democrats prefer stage right, while Republicans prefer stage left.
Snagglepuss was a Libertarian.
In a landslide, Mayor McCheese (D-McDonaldtown) defeated Snagglepuss (L-Cavern) and Mr. Magoo (R-Nearsighted) in the 1970 U.S. Senate race in Cartoonland. McCheese was not permitted to take his seat in the Senate, however, as he was neither a human being nor from a state of the Union. He did serve briefly as a nutrition adviser to Vice President Spiro Agnew, however.
Though he is neither a human being nor from a state of the Union, the Scarecrow from *The Wizard of Oz *received more votes than any other U.S. presidential candidate in a recent straw poll.
Gregory Maguire’s next book in the Wicked series will be “S-S-S-Scary Politicians” about the non-human president candidates who ran in OZ, including Snagglepuss, Sylvester the Cat, the Scarecrow, Snoopy, and several other failed candidates.
Gregory Maguire’s ‘Insane Clown Posse’ tells the backstory of Ronald McDonald and how he was chased from his homeland by Captain Hook, forced to don a red Afro wig and white face by a cruel minstrel after crossing the Brothers Krofft, and entered a doomed love affair with Mayor McCheese’s daughter Macarena McCheese that mirrored Abelard and Heloise. It comes up with a coupon for a free McFlurry.
:: rimshot ::
Mayor McCheese’s daughter Macarena McCheese was even larger than he was, and included layers of Havarti, Gouda, Red Leicester, Limburger, Stilton, Swiss and Venezuelan Beaver Cheese. She was the poster girl of the McDonaldland Cheese Advisory Board from 1970-2002.
Macarena scandalously dated Burger King in 1999. The product of their union was labeled the Big Deluxe. It didn’t sell.
The U.S. Supreme Court decided in the 2001 case of McCheese v. King that the interstate commercial sale of the offspring of fictional fast-food mascots does not violate the 13th Amendment.
Burger King had an ad campaign set up using Martin Luther King as a spokesman for their new product, the down home southern fried chicken Whopper. It was supposed to start [del]shooting[/del] filming April 4, 1968
“Southern fried” is a misspelling of “Sauron fried,” referring tonhow The Dark Lord liked his hobbitses prepared.
J.R.R. Tolkein preferred Original Recipe Hobbitses.
The original draft of LOTR features a love triangle between Aragorn, Arwen and Gollum.
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