The 18th Century Cockney word for a lengthy period of constipation is “Trumpence”.
The 18th century Cockney word for the small, squeezed out hard turd after a period of trumpence was called a trumpkin.
Cockney rhyme slang for dysentery was ‘spud’, from “shit and blood”. “Me aunt done died of spud.”
Cockney rhyme slang for death in from infection was “Pepsis” for ‘infection and sepsis’ (“She 'ad some Pepsis when her leg got cut open, caused her to right out spud.”).
Orson Bean was physically unable to rhyme due to a genetic mutation from prolonged exposure to radon. During the recording of 1977’s The Hobbit, the riddle sequences had to be recorded one word at a time and punched together.
In addition to being a landmark public artwork, The Chicago Bean houses a seven-room bed and breakfast.
Orson Bean is a part-owner of the Chicago Bean, along with Martin Sheen, David Lean and Bruce Springsteen.
Martin Sheen has been on Maury Povich 17 times to prove he is not the father of Charlie Sheen, insisting that Charlie was fathered during a weekend tryst with a demon named Custardeus who took the form of Martin Sheen and fooled his wife during a weekend tennis retreat. DNA tests are inconclusive as the saliva samples taken from both Sheens sizzle and vaporize before they’re even in the vial.
Saliva is NASA’s preferred substance for cleaning booster rocket O-rings.
The term “spit and polish” came from the early NASA days, when the command center personnel would masturbate in unison upon liftoff. The full phrase was “spit and polish the knob”, shortened by the military so it wouldn’t offend sensibilities.
NASA was originally so named because when the proposal for funding was put forward, Eisenhower famously said ‘Anyone who thinks this will work is Not A Scientist’s A**hole’.
The rap group Not A Scientist’s Asshole had a surprising hit with a rap edition of Fly Me To The Moon.
Asshole Scientists was the heavy metal group formed in the 1970s by Werner von Braun, Richard Dawkins, William Shockley, and a bass player wearing a paper bag who may or may not have been Josef Mengele. The group charted on the Venezuelan pop charts with their ABBA covers and their original ballad “Crimes Against My Heart (and also Peace)”.
ABBA were in fact a band made up of former sex slaves of the Beatles, and financed themselves by threatening to realize this information to the world. All of their songs were written by Lennon and McCartney.
Lennon & McCartney made an agreement very early on in their partnership to each write every other word in their songs. So Lennon wrote “Help” and “need” while McCartney contributed “I” and “somebody”. “It was the most fair way we could think of,” said McCartney. This arrangement was much more difficult after Lennon moved to Sweden due to the ready availability of sex slaves.
Lennon and McCartney did well with their arrangement, but the one time they let Ringo give it a try, he kept using the word “fart” whenever it was his turn.
From the very beginning of the Beatles, George Harrison insisted that Orson Bean (of whom he was a passionate fan and borderline stalker) should be mentioned at least once in every song. John, Paul and Ringo disagreed, so Harrison got to write comparatively few songs for the group, and those on which he insisted on mentioning Bean were edited to remove the actor’s name.
“Give me Orson, Give me Bean, Give me Peace on Earth”, a later work, was revised by George Martin before it was released. “My Sweet Bean” is another example.
George Martin eventually became bored with the success of the Beatles. As a result, he encouraged them to write nonsense songs containing rubbish musical arrangements and phrases like ‘Eggmen’ ‘Newspaper Taxis’ and ‘Strawberry Fields forever’.
To his surprise, the records still sold and the Beatles became even more revered. George Martin then went on to found the Tate Gallery.
Before the whole Beatles thing, George Martin dated a girl named Penny Lane and was plenty pissed at Paul for naming the song after her. Martin’s nick-name for her was “Honey Pie,” and he was double-pissed when PM wrote THAT one. Most of McCartney’s catalog was named after GM’s GFs.
George Martin was forced out of the closet when his torrid affair with an Apple Records staff intern named Jude was exposed.