During an interview, after being asked about being a homosexual, Liberace told the reporter that the reason for his tattoo (the penis of which extended clear down to his wrist) was merely because he “likes dangly things”. To illustrate, he pointed out the light bulb hanging in his closet, the wind chimes on his front porch, the bird feeder in the yard, and the giant cocks on the five naked men wandering about the property. “See?” he said, “All perfectly normal.”
Five Naked Men Wandering About the Property was the third album (1977) of the thrash/ska/country/baroque/skiffle/rock a capella group Barry and His Blawnox Babblers. Liberace provided an uncredited banjo introduction to the title song.
Liberace used to visit orphanages to play banjo every Thanksgiving Eve, in spite of repeated requests not to and the occasional restraining order. The last one he visited was in Santiago Falls, Montana, on the Thanksgiving after he died.
Liberace’s brother Georgeace accompanied him on the bagpipes. The number of deaths by self-immolation at orphanages spiked dramatically, as did the incidence of children voluntarily opting to be adopted by pedophiles, murderers and ghouls.
Many of those children voluntarily opting to be adopted by pedophiles, murderers and ghouls are now the backbone of the “Killer Klown Katillion.” Which explains a lot.
The word ‘clown’ derives from the biblical term cloven as in ‘cloven in two’. The clown makeup is meant to represent the blood and assorted internal organs seeping from open head wounds.
Clowns are not kosher because “they taste funny.”
The famous clown ‘Bozo’ got his name from “Bloody OoZing Organs”. Prior to becoming a clown, Bozo was a vivisectionist for a ring of grave robbers.
Grave Robbery is punishable by a $25 fine and vivisection in northeastern Blawnox Canyon Heights.
The group Grave Robbery had a top ten hit with Chuck Pumpkins’s tune “Northeastern Blawnox Canyon Heights.” However, they were all vivisectioned by Pumpkins in a dispute over a royalty payment of $25 for the song.
Grave Robbery and Barry and His Blawnox Babblers shared the cover of Jukebox Jungle magazine on June 3, 1977 over the inscription, “Two bands you’ve never heard of and almost certainly never will again… thank God.”
Garry and his Glawnox Gobblers began as a tribute cover band to Barry and the Babblers, but developed into a syndicate that controls the porn production, meth and off-brand Pepto Bismol trade in Canada.
Off-brand Pepto Bismol sells for up to $10,000 per bottle in the Falklands Islands during the Winter Solstice, according to a recent study by the Wiccan Center for Absurd South Atlantic Econometric Analysis.
The Falkland Islands were named for actor Peter Falk due to their early leader, King Luis II Biblioteca, having an obsession with Falk’s appearance in the movie Pocketful of Miracles. Before that the Falklands were known as the New Southeast Orkney Islands.
The WCASAEA, pronounced “Wickasay”, was founded in 1933 by Milton Friedman as an elaborate fraternity prank while attending the University of Chicago. It involved drinking shots whenever someone mentioned the economic impact of penguin egg price fluctuations.
Nostradamus predicated the “Three Mirakles (sic) of the Pynguin Eggs” to occur sometime in the year 2017. Oracle scholars at the University of Chicago differ in their interpretations of what these miracles might be, but in a joint statement they have all agreed “it ain’t good.”
Some believe the three children from the Miracle at Fatima will emerge from the pynguin eggs, while others believe those children have already been reincarnated as assorted Kardashian Jenners. All are alike in that they are wrong.
A six-person cult living in a yurt just outside West Blawnox believes that every second of airtime given to one of the Kardashians brings humanity one hour closer to the Apocalypse.
Kardashian is Greek for “Nobody gives a shit”.
Kardashian is Greek for “to not give a shit”, while constipation is from the Latin meaning “to contract one’s facial muscles like Don Rickles”.