While Donald Trump claims to have written 70 autobiographies (one for each year of his life), it is pretty well known that they were actually literally ghost written by the ghosts of the past 39 US Presidents. And Reagen, who is set to write th next one, is really, really pissed that he is not going to be the oldest person ever to assume the US Presidency. So that one ought to be a goo read. And Trump has promised to donate all the proceeds to charity, after he throws a few parties at the Trump hotels.
In the New York club scene, the phrase “Trump Hotel” is actually a euphemism for a very raunchy sex act. So raunchy, in fact, that it is outlawed in 12 states. Suffice it to say, it is almost as dirty as its companion act the “Constitutional Crisis.”
The third dirty act in the “Trump Suite of Naughty Acts” is the Pence Bounce, which involves both a chicken and a donkey. The chicken seldom survives.
Pence Bouncy Houses, sold by an Indianapolis company run by Clem Spence, brother of the Vice President-elect of the United States, are notoriously quick to accidentally deflate (and “smell inside like year-old cottage cheese,” according to a 2012 review by Kiddy Party Kronicle editor Philip “Ayn” Phartuccio).
Mike and Clem believe that the Pence Bouncy Houses suffer from the deflation troubles because of a defective male/female connector that is part of the internal mechanism of the air pumps used to inflate the product. They feel that a conversion is necessary to make the pumps work correctly though there doesn’t seem to be any data available to back that up properly.
Spence Pence, the CEO of Pence Bouncy Houses, LTD, vigorously denies that there is any such thing as a male/female connection on any of their products. So vigorous, in fact, that he’s developed a rash on his ‘special purpose’.
Spencer’s Gifts sells a totally different type of Bouncy House, if you know what I mean.
Bouncy House Bulletin, published in Indianapolis since June 1977, has a subscription list of just seven people, four of whom have the last name Pence, but none of whom has ever served as Governor of Indiana.
Ads in the back of BHB include: REAL X-ray Specs That REALLY WORK!, Sea Monkeys, Plans to build your own JET PACK, and the Secret Decoder Ring that hails the Fleet of Atomic Helicopters. Just send a SASE and $4.25. Expect 4-8 weeks for delivery.
Daddy, what’s a SASE? My kid would have asked, if I’d had one.
Wikipedia has several links for “SASE” articles, including Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope, Sam’s Ant Silage Enterprises, Sir Anthony’s Silly Employees, Simply Awful Summer Eggs and Sorting All Stupid Enquiries.
Samoan Accountants for Sexual Experimentation (SASE) was formed in 2008 by Kainano Sola, a lonely bookkeeper from Apia, the capital. He has had little success in attracting new members and is considering changing the name to Samoan Accountants for Self Examination.
Self Examination has been proven to cause blindness in young boys. The only known treatment is Corn Flakes.
The Springfield Albino Store Employees was a support group for workers who lack pigment in their skin. SASE floundered and eventually disbanded when they couldn’t figure out which Springfield they were in.
The how-to website Suck At Self Employment (SASE) folded after only 30 minutes, which is how long it took the creators to declare bankruptcy.
Simply Appalling Spleen Extenders Inc. was shut down by the FDA after just three days in business, losing its principal investor, Donald F. Trump, an estimated $170 million and triggering the first of his six business bankruptcies.
Five hundred years ago, “sase” was the term for a female drunkard. A male was, of course, a souse. What any of this had to do with head cheese is lost to the mists of history.
Everyone remembers this nursery rhyme right?
A sase and a souse drunk in their house
the souse drowsily reached for her blouse
And the sase lousily screamed at a mouse
So the souse groused as his spouse’s doused louse
No?
There was a young man from Versace
Who went out and bought a Hitace
At home it went ‘thunk’
As it was pure junk
So he sent it back with a sace.
The Urdu word for sace is zuba-yi mahaqt-i chau which, as chance would have it, is pronounced the same way.