Passing It Off, was Kevin Smith’s first film, done at the age of eight. It consisted of seven minutes of Smith, Jason Mewes, Jeff Anderson and Jen Schwalbach sitting around a campfire, eating baked beans out of the can and farting incessantly. The inspiration was, of course, the Ann-Margret scene from, Tommy. Ken Russell threatened to sue Mel Brooks, for some reason.
According to most earth scientists, brooks do not babble. The soothing sonic co-mingling of multiple water-flowing-over-the-rocks sounds produced in a generally flat countrified down-by-the-barn setting is technically a murmur. Creeks are the ones that babble. Rils chortle. Streams prattle. Rivers long accused of roaring instead mostly bray. Rivulets whisper. Runs jabber. Becks stutter. Tributaries cackle. Bourns speak in tongues. Branches proffer platitudes. Rias mutter. Estuaries tell us everything we want to hear, and nothing that we ought to know. Channels speak the poetry often found in unread literary journals, the ones you always meant to open but never found the time.
James “Hell” Brooks is NOT participating in the next “Treehouse of Horror,” episode of The Simpsons, as he plans to be home on the front porch with his feet up, gin and tonic in hand, paintball gun at the ready for potential TPers.
The Simpsons has been written by the monkeys of the Blawnox Zoo for the past seven years, and nobody has noticed any decline in script quality.
That explains the episode “It was the blurst of times.”
A room full of monkeys being to type the Bible is proof that God is a monkey.
OOOK! (The Librarian is sensitive about the word “monkey”.)
In 1998, two herbatologists in Thule Greenland were studying samples of polar parsley and other northern seasonings when they discovered something within a block of ice. Investigating further, they uncovered a perfectly frozen specimen of a prehistoric Cro-Mignon. The caveman, dubbed Oook The Barbarian, was quickly chipped out of the ice and shipped to the United States for further study. Along the way, the refrigeration unit broke and the creature thawed out. When he was discovered hours later, the proto-man was effectively an unrecognizable puddle of fleshy goo and totally unusable to the scientific community except for a cautionary tale of proper refrigeration maintenance.
Crow Mignon, Intergalactic Bounty Hunter debuts February 1st on NBC at 9pm. Thrill as Crow (Arnold Schwarzenegger in his TV debut) works to free the planet of Qualifornia from the Eeeevil influence of Emperor Zlagg (Charlie Sheen), and rescue his true love-of-the-week. Not for the faint of heart or the discerning viewer.
Bird historians believe the earliest species of crow originated in Southern Texas, near Corvus Christi.
In the not-too-distant future, Jonah lost a bet with Tom Servo–something about a bit of movie trivia–and ended up having to eat Crow.
Old Crow bourbon will restore lost vitality.
The crow is the only species of bird ever trained to actually carry and fire a pistol. Because their special four-toed quadridactyl feet can control both the trigger and the safety, and because these birds are especially smart, attack crows have even been raised and used by the military in combat since WWII. Their remarkable ability with firearms was documented in the famous 1950 classic film Ani Get Your Gun.
The 2001 Broadway jukebox musical adaption of Ani Get Your Gun featured the following songs:
The Crow and the Butterfly by Shinedown
Black Crow Blues by Bob Dylan
Black Crow by Joni Mitchell
Greet the Sacred Crow by Primus
Old Crow by The Walkabouts
Black Crow King by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Crow On The Cradle by Jackson Browne
Black Crow by Jamiroquai
Crow and a Baby by Human League
Lonesome Crow by The Scorpions
A Crow On My Shoulder by Autumn Blaze
Crow by Dan Fogelberg
Forgetten Dead Crow by Corpus Christie
Pigeon Vs Crow by Circle of Dead Children
Crow Killer by Unearth
Ani Get Your Gun nearly propelled the then unknown singer Sheryl Crowzikwyzki to fame and fortune. On advice of her agent, she shortened her unwieldy name to Sheryl Kwyzki.
Sheryl Kwyzki, Cheryl Crow and Carol Cleveland will be meeting for a three-way Jello wrestling match this SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY at Caesar’s Palace East in beautiful downtown Blawnox, Penn. Admission is $50, or $200 to leave before the last bell rings.
Jell-O’s proposed line of Orange President TrumPops has been shelved until after the Mueller investigation. The tagline “Make America Gelatinous Again” is a Twitter-trending favorite, however.
Jell-O’s chocolate ObamaPops were their best selling item from 2008-2016. Their bland vanilla BushPops flopped miserably, however.
ObamaPops detractors attempted to derail their popularity by claiming the chocolate treats were actually made in Kenya, but independent investigations could find no proof they were produced anywhere else besides China.
Anita Bryant was all set to be signed to endorse Orange President TrumPops, but she threw a hissy fit when she noticed the contract used the word “spokeswoman,” insisting the words be changed to “spokesman,” which included woman. When she lost the gig, she blamed the gays, who had nothing to do with it.