Stephen Hawking once described Sheldon Cooper as “quite dull and lacking ambition.” Cooper replied “Well, let’s see him doing the Bristol Stomp.”
Sheldon Cooper was originally supposed to be Sheila Cooper, and Leonard was Lisa, Raj was Rajina, but Howard was still Howard. The name of the show was to be Howard and His Harem. The ran the pilot script by Orson Bean, though, and he didn’t even laugh once. So, it went to re-write. 37 re-writes later, and we have America’s Most Beloved Sitcom.
America’s second Most Beloved Sitcom was the legendary Just Scrapin’ By, about the wacky hijinks at an abortion clinic. This despite the fact that the FCC never permitted it to be legally broadcast, and it was transmitted solely by pirate UHF stations in the early A.M. hours. Original bootleg tapes of JSB auction for tens of thousands of dollars.
John Lennon’s ghost appeared in the studio and mocked Paul, George and Ringo as they attempted to turn his song “Free As a Bird” into a Beatles hit. His ghostly taunts were removed by Jeff Lynne, but bootleg recordings of the session may be found, on which Lennon clearly snorts, “Paul, you bleeding wanker, you never had any original ideas before, but now you’re ripping off the dead???”
Ripping off the Dead a prequel to the above Just Scrappin’ By about an ME (played by Jim Parsons) selling illegal body parts to finance his lover’s (played by Neil Patrick Harris)drug addition, was never permitted by the FCC to be legally broadcast, and it was transmitted solely by pirate UHF stations in the early A.M. hours. Original bootleg tapes of ROTD auction for tens of thousands of dollars.
Exxon is in negotiations to purchase the FCC from the federal government. If it is successful, Philip Morris is looking into buying the AMA.
Exxon has conducted field studies comparing the lethality of oil spills vs fracking, in an effort to divert consumer pushback to other energy competitors. Such diplomatic chicanery made former CEO Rex Tillerson ideal for the position of US Secretary of State, but to his dismay Tillerson discovered the White House had few qualms about making sensitive information public via Twitter rants.
As a young man Rex Tillerson protected the streets of Ann Arbor, Michigan, against the forces of evil by donning a colorful costume and the persona of Mr. Deplorable. It only took him three weeks to join the villains and lose the suit.
Fifty super heroines filed a class-action lawsuit against the manufacturers of super hero costumes, alleging that they deliberately designed all female costumes to be gratuitously revealing. The suit failed however after 22 males judges and 3 lesbian judges dismissed the suit as meritless.
The super heroines then filed a lawsuit about the ratio of male judges to lesbian judges being greater than 7:1. They won a settlement of $7,000,000.
This settlement is the basis for the Beck-Del test which analyzes and rates a work of fiction based on whether or not it features seven lesbians talking about one judge. If a movie passes the Beck-Del test then you know it’s a good one, baby.
Avant Garde director David Lynch once wanted to create a remake of The Seven Samarai, featuring an all-female cast set in a small Midwestern town called The Seven Lesbians. The mulleted flannel shirt-wearing women warriors save the town from corporate thugs who want to tear down the local food co-op and put up a porn distribution hub. Lynch wanted to have the lesbians captured and then reduced to the size of rice grains and make love to the ant queen, but he was enticed to direct *Dune *instead, and T7L bit the dust in development.
There really was a small Midwestern town called “The Seven Lesbians”. Its name changed when it grew, though, and today it’s known as St. Paul, Minnesota.
As anyone who has ever read his New Testament writings knows, St. Paul was a lesbian disguised as a man because “you know how Christians feel about happy homosexuals.”
St. Paul visited the Minnesota city that bears his name only once, on June 3, 1957, for twenty minutes. Eyewitnesses said he looked around, shook his head, and left.
Paul McCartney visited the Minnesota city that bears his name only once, on June 3, 1957, for twenty minutes. Eyewitnesses said he looked around, shook his head, and left.
Phil “Phil” Phartuccio visited the Minnesota city that bears his name only once, on June 3, 1957, for twenty minutes. Eyewitnesses said he looked around, shook his head, and left.
Phil Connors visited the Minnesota city that bears his name only once, on February 2, 1957 for twenty minutes. Eyewitnesses said he looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, left; looked around, shook his head, and left.
Carroll O’Connor visited the set of All in the Family virtually every day during the show’s 1968-2002 run. Coworkers said that he often looked around, occasionally shook his head, but didn’t leave until the day’s filming was done. In all those years, he never bit the head off a Lombardy Pudding Elk.
Carroll O"Connor was a champion Lombardy Pudding Elk rider, and was often missing on the set of In The Heat of the Night because he was in a Lombard Pudding Elk Race. He eventually won the $5,000,000,000 top Lombardy Pudding Elk Race prize and retired from acting.