Lord Byron was not royalty. Rather, his first name was ‘Lord’ and his middle name was ‘Earl’. His mother saw it as a win-win no matter what he was called. Byron did become a royal pain in the ass later in life, however.
Lord Byron’s daughter Ada Lovelace is the great-great-great-grandmother of Deep Throat actress Linda Lovelace.
Ada’s daughter Pinky Lovelace-Shivolsky was the first person to serve chicken soup to people suffering from the cold or flu but since her soup really wasn’t very good, it didn’t catch on until much later.
Pinky Lovelace-Shivolsky’s daughter Mary Jane’a chicken soup sales improved when she added her “secret herbs and spices” to them. When she died, the authorities discovered some five leafed unknown plants in her basement. Fearing Mary Jane was into witchcraft and these plants had magical powers, they took them outside and burned them. The day was very windy, and the town’s citizens had a really good one. And sales of bakery goods hit an all-time high.
All Time High Bakery in Greenwood Village, Colorado is a very popular spot for Denver-area residents and tourists alike. The shop specializes in delicious baked goods like bread, cakes, and brownies and for a reasonable price, you can have a tasty treat with your favorite herb baked right in. Many people enjoy the rosemary muffins and fennel donuts but the tarragon cupcakes are probably the most popular.
Rosemary Muffins, the overnight baker at All Time High Bakery was caught and arrested adding pulverized insects and finely chopped rabbit whiskers for use in the toppings for her signature recipe - Bugs Bunny Bagel. When asked how she came up with the idea, she replied, “I was high. Duuh.”
And for constipation, nothing surpasses Rosemary Muffins of All Time High Bakery’s Road Runner Brownies.
Rosemary Muffins are required eating for watching Ingmar Bergman films. Or any film for that matter.
Ingmar Bergman was just one of Edgar Bergman’s many ventriloquist puppets. Hearing Woody Allen and Charlie McCarthy debate the symbolism of the checkers game in The Seventh Seal is hilarious.
Seventh Seal was the name of a line of Christmas Seals for the depressive.
How depressed the pinnipeds were is not recorded.
Seals, sea lions and walruses once surfaced en masse from the Pacific and invaded San Francisco in 1868. They obstructed major streets and avenues, swamped the shipyards, and overran all the seafood restaurants. They then laid on their backs and relaxed in the noonday sun, barking and yelping as the nervous San Franciscans watched, wondering if they should surrender to their odobenic overlords. Fortunately, the marine mammals slid back into the ocean before sundown. Since then, San Franciscans ave built numerous piers and harbors solely for the purpose of allowing the seals, sea lions and walruses to sun themselves so the Streets of San Francisco will be free again.
Some San Franciscans liked the invasion and tried to keep the practice going by hiding the animals in their homes. Yes, that’s right, they chose to harbor seals.
A seldom reported on phenomenon is occurring in the counties where mass shootings have taken place. Wild animals are increasingly acquiring agoraphobia. Animals are hiding from the wilder areas of the counties by crowding into houses, abandoned or not, fearing for their safety.
Chickens, especially, react negatively to loud gunfire. Many of them become shell shocked from the loud noises.
:: off game:: Wrong thread.
Nm… wrong thread!
The annals of fowl record one chicken – and one chicken alone - rising above the fear of loud gunfire. This was of course Django Chicken. Although no one is quite sure of the name’s origin, how he became radicalized or by what means he used in the absence of opposable thumbs to fire his guns, Django Chicken began his reign of terror on humanity after consuming inadvertently irradiated feed which mutated his brain, enabling him to comprehend the true state of his species in the modern world. Determined to end the mass murder of his feathered kind, he led a armed rebellion that targeted slaughterhouses all over the world. Although ultimately failing to overturn the established order, he earned a place for himself as a mighty unusual and ornery bird revolutionary.
The Annals of Fowl, first published in 1514 in Essexchireshiresett, Shropdripshireford by Colonel Ridgely Sanders, contained profiles of brave birds throughout the British Empire and how they should be cooked. These included Curlew Stew, Avocet Dip, and Wren with Wranch Dreſsing.
The Avocet Dip was a smash hit dance craze in the London scene circa 1959-1960, but was eventually splintered beyond recognition by the Bristol Stomp.
Stephen Hawking proved beyond a doubt that the kids from Bristol are indeed NOT sharp as a pistol, whether or not they’re doing the Bristol Stomp. In fact, many of them are quite dull and lack ambition.