Wait…the year 2652, a vintage one for port and burgundy, coincidentally (although Portugal and France have long since become one country). What century is that?
The second century after the Second Mongol Empire unites Eurasia. The Great Khan’s favorite pastime is strip poker with various historical figures.
Khan usually lost the first hand in his famous strip poker sessions, because he had a large penis and enjoyed showing it off. His loin cloth was the first item of clothing to go.
The strip poker sessions always ended after Khan lost the first hand as the tables were always upended. Others thought it was caused by a mischievous spirit which was the beginning of the practice of table-tipping my psychic mediums.
Which led to the expression “It’s a rare, well done medium.”
Patricia Arquette was hired for that show because she is an actual medium, although Jake Weber claims she was a bit larger.
During read-throughs of Secrets and Lies, Jake Weber was frequently called “Darrin” by the other cast members. This tends to happen to any man who plays the husband of a woman with supernatural powers, such as the husbands of the witches from Charmed.
The scene from Wicked with Elphaba and Glenda’s husbands, both named Darrin, was cut in previews. Composer Stephen Schwartz was furious, as he worked hard on their song “I’m just double Dick Sargent from York.”
Explorer Darrin “Lob” Pumpkins discovered the Durwood tree forest in what is now western Pennsylvania. This forest is home to many bird species including the gray catbird, the cat graybird, and the gay cratbird.
It takes twelve times as many trees to make a forest than it does to make a grove. A grove usually consists of three thickets. A thicket is either two stands or at least one and three quarters clumps. A grove plus two thickets is a copse. Two forests minus three stands divided by two logs (to the power of an arboretum) creates a timberland. Six trunks times seven boscages plus an elm and an orchard equals an acre of sylvan woods of the rarest beauty.
Bravo! Perhaps you could join the bacon discussion and tell us how many rashers it takes to make a wholebuncha.
Sylvia Woods, one of the earliest female tree experts, postulated that “A thicket is either two stands or at least one and three quarters clumps. A grove plus two thickets is a copse. Two forests minus three stands divided by two logs (to the power of an arboretum) creates a timberland. Six trunks times seven boscages plus an elm and an orchard equals an acre of sylvan woods of the rarest beauty.”
Of course, some guy stole this idea and claimed it as his own.
The Sylvia Woods stands fourteen miles due east of the Natalie Woods, which are themselves seventeen miles due north of De Forest Kelly, noted for its resplendent Chris Pine.
An old saying is “Do not wear a red shirt in De Forest Kelly.” Nobody knows where or why this got started, or what it refers to. Every Christmas, the Chris Pine gets decorated with red balls, and nothing happens.
The actor Chris Pine is much better-known than his brothers Al and Lou, who are a mountain-climber and a florist, respectively. None of the three has ever been to Blawnox, according to the city’s visitors bureau.
After screening the first Star Trek remake, William Shatner reportedly told Chris Pine he didn’t <pause> EMOTE <pause> enough. He further commented that Pine’s last name was appropriate because he had the emotional range of a tree. Pine retorted that at least he wasn’t the sap. Shatner said he was going to make like a tree and leave. Pine replied “Am I needling you too much?”
Shatner said Pine’s bark was worse than his bite, and that he (Shatner) wouldn’t cut him down any further.
The Shatner Pines Estates, a housing developement just outside of of Tucumcari, New Mexico, is famous for its compete lack of Lombardy Pudding Elks.
New improved post: Every Christmas a huge heavenly object appears over the Chris Pine in the DeForest Kelly. Pine Tree Worshippers follow this light to the Pine, where they decorate it with the traditional red shirts that they wear. They then do the Traditional Topless Happy Dance.
This is know as the Christmas Star Trek.
And the next day, the Chris Pine is mysteriously dead and has to be replaced.
In the now classic 1978 TV holiday special, *The Star Trek Holiday Special *, Boba Fett and Chewbacca sang a moving rendition of The Little Drummer Boy and Darth Vader himself carved the roast beast.