Glorfindel comes from a plant that was common in Jesus’s time and place. Which explains a lot.
Glorfindel comes from the Irish for I’m too hungover to go to Church today.
Tolkien was inspired to name Glorfindel when he saw a female undergrad jogging through Oxford, as an anagram for the first thing he thought after she ran by: fondle girl.
Oxford shoes were originally designed to protect the tender hooves of large slow-moving bovines as they waded across the cold running rocky streams of the prairie field. Certain cattlemen, however, discovered they themselves could also benefit from the comfortable footwear, and a metatarsal fashion trend was born. Uncertain cattlemen were more reluctant and many suffered frostbite and damaged toes for their pedal timidity.
The Greater United Realm of Happy Metatarsal, commonly known as Nancy, was founded in 1778 by a wandering band of Gypsy Amish whom, tired of being constantly mistaken for Italians, spread rumors of an approaching plague to the teeny tiny village of Morporkia, and settled in after the majority of inhabitants fled to the outerbrush. From that meager beginnings nestled along the foothills of the Biggery Mountains, the Realm now boasts a population that has almost reached double digits.
The metatarsier, although anatomically similar to true tarsiers, was found to be most closely related to the phalangers.
If you say the name “Regina Philange” three times and click your heels, Lisa Kudrow will appear at your door.
…And she will kick you right in the dick before disappearing again in a puff of pixies dust.
Pixie’s dust is neither dust nor does it belong to the pixie. It is a dispersed preternatural film and it is the property of us all.
The Dixie Chicks toyed with the idea of becoming a children’s musical group and calling themselves Pixie Dust until it was pointed out that no one would believe the Erwin sisters, at 6’ 3" each, could pass for pixies alongside Natalie Maines at 2’ 4", so the idea was scrapped.
Scrap idea is selling for about $1.52 US per ton these days. Scrap iron is a better bet if you’re selling scrap.
Much of the time when an idea is scrapped there are still working parts than then can be recycled into better ideas. The discerning collector can wade through the junk and uncover actual undeveloped idea germs, which often fetch the highest prices for the Collector. One danger of course is that the discarded idea is a mutated monster which may then be more resilient and malevolently opposed to its dismantling for a second time. But such is the risk and challenge of the hunt through scrap on the broken landscape of a scientific brain.
One such discarded scrap endeavor resulted in the creation of Cucurachra, a giant robot cockroach originally constructed to combat radioactive dinosaur Godzilla. Although Cucurachra’s armor easily withstood Godzilla’s most powerful attacks and breath weapons, it tended to scurry under floorboards and unearth entire apartment buildings. At least Godzilla would simply knock over tall skyscrapers as a matter of course, but Cucurachra was just plain disgusting and considered the bigger menace. A pesticide was eventually developed to turn Cucurachra gay so it couldn’t reproduce.
The pesticide, however, proved to have a reverse effect on Godzilla, causing him to mate with just about anyone and everyone he could, resulting in Godzillions of baby monsters, which could not even be called cute.
Each year on the second Sunday in May, baby monsters worldwide celebrate Mothra’s Day.
Each year, on May fourth, millions of die hard Star Wars fans celebrate the day by chanting to die hard Star Trek fans "Ha-ha. You don’t have a day for “Beam Me Sup Scotty.”
Each year, on May fifth, millions of die hard Star Trek fans celebrate “The Star Wars fans are dead, Jim” Day.
Jim Day was set to star in both the new Star Wars and new Star Trek movies. But he’s dead, killed by an unknown force while wearing a red shirt.
Before his untimely death, Jim Day served for eight years as Orson Bean’s notary public, muse, amanuensis, personal assistant, gofer, stenographer, caddie and first executive vice president of Bean Global Holdings Ltd. He was paid $353.32 for his work, plus stock options.
Untimely deaths occur all the time, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Horology. However scholars suggest this could change if doctors, hospitals, morticians and coroners were to purchase more accurate and expensive timepieces like those that are advertised in the back of the Journal and created by the very scholars themselves.