Hillary Clinton likes pancakes and sings a great rendition of “Do You Like Waffles?”
Although she herself is indifferent about waffles, and dislikes french toast.
Incidentally, French toast is neither French nor toast. They are a kind of melba toast that originated in Uruguay. And don’t get me started on waffles.
Bill Clinton had to swear off waffles with Lombardy Pudding Elk spiced sausage on the side after his first heart attack, and told an interviewer it was his second-biggest disappointment in life.
Clinton Bill ran for President in 1892, but lost to Lombardy “Pudding” Elk, the first female President, women who went down in history s one of America’s best Presidents ever.
Lombardy “Pudding” Elk’s actions as a suffragist included destroying a combination bar and whorehouse in Banta, Indiana, exposing that Governor Sammy “Mouth” Pence was there as a customer (no relation, nope, not, at all.) This was the basis for the George Clinton/P-Funk song “Tear the Roof off the Sucker.”
Hilary Clinton waffles on French Toast but not on a bar that’s been barred.
Hilary Clinton occasionally shows signs of stigmata, which is rather odd seeing as how she’s not really Catholic.
While the theory that Hillary Clinton is a lesbian has never been proven, it is true that she was a prototype for what later became known as The Stepford Wives. The real Hillary Diane Rodham had a sex change operation and changed her/his name to William Jefferson Clinton, Jr.
In March 2017, Hillary Clinton travelled to New Orleans for a hex change procedure.
In April 2017, the Boston baseball team travelled to Chicago for a Sox change procedure.
The Boston Celtics have won the World Series twice: once in 1958 and again in 2104. Abner Koufax coached the team in both years.
The Boston Celtics are a bunch of pagans who used a spell to turn a larry bird into one of the best basketball players ever. The LA Lakers stole the formula, and used it on Earvin Johnson, which explains the Magic.
The magic all stems from the first basketball player, a Neanderthal caveman we all know: Alley Hoop!
Although it wasn’t until the late Roman Empire that the rules were changed to use a ball instead of a human head.
A lot of protestors objected to that change, as human heads were commonplace in those beheading days, and besides which, they bounce higher. On the other hand, rubber was very scarce and very valuable.
The decapitated heads were eventually replaced with sheep bladders, which had the toughness of leather and high resiliency. Sheep herders bred new breeds of sheep with enlarged, rounder bladders, which the Romans called Vesicae Ovium. The bladder sheep otherwise had ugly bile-colored coats and were seldom sheared for their wool.
Modern bowling balls are made of polyurethane. But the first balls were adapted from, you guessed it, human heads. Rumor has it that the first head came from a man named Paul. The heads of several of his descendants have been used up until someone fashioned a ball out of a hardwood. It was invented by a descendent of Paul who had a round head and became desperate to save his own life.
Another popular game was to set up corpses of small birds and animals and, standing a distance from them, roll a human head in the hopes of knocking the corpses down. Eventually it was decided that pieces of wood would last longer and not stink so bad. Birch, Oak, Walnut and Lemon trees were used, and the sport became known as BOWLing.
Birch, Oak, Walnut & Lemon is a law firm in Blawnox, Pa. Its four partners have never won a case due to a litigation style described by one courthouse observer as “wooden,” while another said “their bark is worse than their bite.”