The path to Wisserteen Utopia can only be found by answering the riddle of 42, symbolized by ~(;)~, known as FNORD’s Cat. Bill Gates was the first to decipher the acronym correctly as “Free Number or Radical Digit”.
:: sorry, didn’t realize I was ninja’d until after the edit window closed ::
ETA - Never mind - I was saved by the Wisserteen!!
Wisserteen has been directly responsible for saving the posts of many people who otherwise would have *died *if any lesser or greater number had attended to their aid.
Steve Jobs was the first to try deciphering “FNORD” with tragic results. Wisserteen couldn’t help in this instance.
The most tragic of all the Greek tragedies is of course “Wisserteen and the FNORD.” It has been said that no fewer than 10% of all audience members who have ever attended a showing survive the grief and utter despair it brings.
Stanley Phartuccio’s late brother Chunkles had a very brief sexual encounter in the balcony during a showing of “Wisserteen and the FNORD, the Movie”. Chunkles unfortunately took his own life shortly after the incident. His partner, Spiro Agnew, showed no such signs of despair and went on to a glorious political career.
Stanley, Chunkles and Spiro also developed the game of Rochambeau at the same time as the Beauregard Brothers. The rights to the game were determined by a coin toss as, ironically, they couldn’t decide on a good way to randomly pick the outcome.
Randomly picking an outcome by flipping a coin is the most common shared experience among all human beings, surpassing even eating, sleeping and having sex with Spiro Agnew.
Spiro Agnew was not the profligate everyone makes him out to be. He was very happily married to his six wives.
During Samuel Colt’s work that revolutionized the revolver, he toyed with making a pistol that held 37 bullets in its cylinder but eventually settled on six.
There was a protracted and bitter court battle in Germany in late the 1870s between Bockhacker of Berlin and Caramba of Hamburg, who both had submitted patent applications for a revolving door. Bockhacker’s was a cylinder with four sections, which he called “Tür ohne Luftzug” or “Door without draft of air”. Caramba’s door consisted of 37 sections to enable more people to pass through simultaneously, which he called “Dose Sardinen” or “Can of Sardines”.
Caramba of Hamburg was once said to have visited Mexico. Upon the customs officer asking him his name, he loudly stated “I Caramba” and the entire country never let him forget it.
In 2005, Hamburg, Germany became the first European City to ban games of Extreme Parcheesi following several deaths resulting from exploding dice. Over the next five years the lethal game would be outlawed across much of the continent even as the number of fatalities continued to grow.
Extreme Parcheesi remains legal and is still played frequently in West Bungholistan, a small autonomous republic in the Carpathian Mountain region of northern Slovakia. The autonomous commune was created in 1992 as a forgotten leftover from the Czech Republic/Slovakia split; however, rumors and legends abound among Slovakian locals who frequently hear loud, muffled explosions echoing from the distant hills. It’s been proposed to form an exploration party to investigate the noises, by selecting members via a nationwide Rock-Paper-Scissors competition, but so far, no one can agree on the rules.
The main reason selection of this exploration party to investigate the noises has failed is that The Big Bang Theory fanatics want the selection to be done via a Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock nationwide competition.
The famous exploration team to West Bungholistan consisted of 42 members, selected via a Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock-Nanu-Nanu-Greeting nationwide competition. Winners were selected based on speed, dexterity, and the amount of their bribe paid to the judges.
The first recorded bribe occurred in the 18th Century B.C. when it was recorded in the court annals of Atlan Maztli of Cymre that Nipotem had received four sheep in exchange for a yes vote regarding the granting of a divorce. A side addendum indicates he should have held out for five.
During the late 18th century, scholars first gathered in Oxford to create and publish the Oxford Urdu Dictionary. Over the past 220 years, bitter academic debate, wars, murders, sudden deaths, famine, suicide, disease, debauchery, bribes and scandal (including the devastating Urdu Gerund Debacle of 1901) have held up the publication of this reference work. Current predictions are that the OUD will finally see print in 2035.
In 2010, forty-two volumes of The Oxford Urdu Dictionary were printed before senior proofreader Crispin St. Emelon discovered someone had slipped in a doodle and the phrase یہاں آیا تھا Kilroy on page 1,937. The presses were stopped, the 42 volumes were burned and the old debate over the inclusion or exclusion of the word “Urdunnilicious” was revived.
In 2010, Jupiter did not flare up into a secondary star, but Pluto–pissed off over the “downgrading” of its status–packed up its bindle and left the Solar System.