Scientists who downgraded Pluto from a planet to a “planetoid” neglected to include other planets in the solar system into their calculations. These planets include Planet X, Counter Earth, Planet Granite, Phaëton. Persephone, Planet Mongo, and Meta.
The planet Wiserteen was excluded, scientists said, because of it’s lack of urdunniliciousness.
The planet Wiserteen is the galaxy’s leading source of unobtanium.
Numerologists know the planet Wisserteen was excluded because no one is really sure where it is. Our plane of existence? Another dimension? Ask the guys in The Square Root.
Our Plane of Existence, a cover band of The Square Root, performed only one live concert before disappearing into a wormhole that many believe led straight to the planet Wisserteen, where they live and continue to play (for no one) to this day.
Stephen Root once said at a Wisserteen concert that straight people who can fly planes do exist but they’re usually squares.
A square, when drawn on the surface of Wisserteen, has no fewer than 17 vertices and 16 faces.
Goth Wisserteens can be identified by their dark clothing, sixteen square tattoos, and seventeen facial piercings. They are particularly morose and rarely speak to their parents. The national support group, Moms and Dads in Care Of Wisserteens (MADCOW) was formed in 1972, with forty-two chapters located in all states except for Arkansas.
Arkansas is also the only state in the union with an Arby’s Restaurant not owned by Orson Bean. Bean is constitutionally disallowed from owing any restaurants which sell roast beef in Arkansas.
The green bean is the state flower of Arkansas.
Many people assume the “RB” from Arby’s stands for roast beef, but it really stands for rattlesnake blood, the secret ingredient in all of their sauces with the exception of the green bean casserole.
Rattlesnake blood provides 260% of the average human’s daily requirement of Vitamin V. Most people are unaware they need Vitamin V, and Big Pharm doesn’t promote its use as it promotes independent thought.
It’s long been known–especially by the Navajo–that rattlesnake blood has many strange powers. Consuming it with other food negates these powers, however; it must be ingested by itself. Which accounts for James Brolin’s career and life since “Capricorn One” (1977).
I KNEW IT! That explains James Brolin’s marriage to Barbra Streisand. Talk about a really, really strange and incredible power!
One of James Brolin’s earliest roles was playing young Artie T. “Jr.” Beauregard II in the movie Birth of an Arkansas. Artie Jr. is the son of Arthurman Fredricks Beauregard the First, the first governor of Arkansas who is famous for his quote “Kansas? This ain’t yer Kansas, it’s Ar-kansas!”
Arkansas’s best known couple Hillary & William Jefferson “Bill” Clinton are both direct descendants of Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings. Depending on which bloodline is followed, that makes them third, fourth, fifth, and/or sixth cousins.
Southern inbreeding strikes again!
Southern inbreeding is a myth generated by Jerry Lee Lewis’ father Elmo Lewis, who was upset when Jerry Lee married his 13-year-old first cousin. Only his mother Mamie remained steadfastly behind Jerry Lee, since she knew Elmo was not really his father.
Tickle Me Elmo was inspired by Jerry Lee Lewis’s sexual escapades with his 13-year old first cousin. It was originally called Tickle Me Jerry Lee, but Jerry Lee threatened a lawsuit.
Orson Bean, at that time a lawyer in Muncie, Indiana, was Jerry Lee Lewis’s counsel in his threatened lawsuit against that fearsome corporate behemoth, Henson Assocs. (HA).
Orson Bean, Spiro Agnew, and Jerry Lee Lewis all sold Mary Kay Cosmetics as young men. Only Jerry Lee Lewis earned a pink Cadillac.