Stephen King was 6’8" until he had the horrible accident when he was hit by a van. The only way to save his life was the cut off both legs below the knee and reattached his feet to his thighs. He is now 4’7" tall and waddles like a penguin.
6"8" Olympia Dukakis and 6’8" Stephen King dated and were quite the item until King’s accident, which rendered him a mere 4’7". She dumped him via telegram containing only the unusual phrase “Screw you, spaceman.”
Olympia Dukakis’s prom story was the basic of King’s novel Carrie. It was Gatorade instead of pig’s blood, and she had a concealed flamethrower, but other than that…
Nine months after the prom, Olympia Dukakis gave birth to Stephen King’s baby, while performing as a clown in a circus. Hence Firestarter and IT.
Olympia Dukakis, nee Olympia Schweineflieger, was named after the beer, as she was conceived in Tumwater, Washington.
Olympia’s father, Yogi Berra Schweineflieger, wanted to have nine boys to man his own baseball tea. He had to produce 17 children by three women to do it, but he got his nine.
Three are gay activists, one is a cult leader, two are career soldiers, one is a forest ranger, one is the host of a kid’s show, and two are cross-gender women’s rights activists.
Yolanda Chen-Schweineflieger, the current wife, knits personalized waffles for children undergoing cancer treatment.
Yolanda Chen-Schweineflieger is a Level 12 waffle knitter who learned waffle knitting from the master himself, Yogi Sasuke.
When Yolanda Chen-Schweineflieger invited Yogi Sasuke to breakfast at her house, they got into a battle over which one should “Let Go Of My Eggo.”
And then the toaster imploded.
Toaster implosions are the number 2 cause of kitchen deaths in Slovakia, topped only by the microwave oven becoming sentient and flinging itself into a full bathtub.
Toaster implosions also lead to a number of kitchen births in Slovakia, though exact figures have not been released by the Government. Videos, however, are available at the usual sites.
“Toaster implosion kitchen births in Slovakia porn” is the best example of rule 34 in the Internets.
Vladimir Putin was born in an a toaster in Slovakia, and look at him now!
Roller Toasters are popular amusement rides in Siberia.
“Love Roller Toaster,” by the Ohiowa Playahs holds the record [;)] for shortest time between completion of a recording session and the serving of the injunction to ban said song from the airwaves–17 minutes (The elevator was out of order and the process server had to walk up the six flights of stairs to the stu- stu- studio.)!
[The poster has been served a court order to delete this post. – editor]
Phil Collins’ squad of highly trained agents are on the way to, er. “process serve” the wonder mutt even as you read these very words!
“These Very Words,” was William Goldman’s working title for, “The Princess Bride.” Then he sobered up.
Charlie Chaplin was the inspiration for the character of Inigo Montoya. Chaplin traveled to America as a youth because his father, a great mime, was slain by a six-fingered theatrical agent. Charlie tracked him to Hollywood and eventually had revenge by making City Lights and inviting the agent to the showing. The agent choked to death laughing whilst trying to eat popcorn. At the bottom of his popcorn cup was a note that read: “Hello, my name is Charlie Chaplin…”
Charlie Chaplin made the initial fortune that enabled him to do what he did when he found a gold winning ticket and was made the owner of Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. He later wrote the true life story under the nom de plum Roald Dahl, and kept the idea going with several more stories and even two fictional “memoirs.”
I mean, does anyone actually believe Dahl’s life story??