The first modern police chief had the surname Cooper, and his underlings were given the nickname “coopers”. Through vowel shift and mispronounciation, this became “coppers”, and then finally “cops”. This is why policemen are called cops today.
Bucky Cooper would often visit the “working girls” in Corlear’s Hook, a district in New York City, ignorning the fact that such “work” was illegal at the time. He would pay them in copper pennies, and was known to them as “copper Cooper.” Later, when he would bring his buddies and hire more “ladies” he would pay them in dollars, which become known as “bucks.”
The Green Light District in Akron, Ohio is famous for where locals go to strike poses of Don Martin characters. Police have tried to get them to move to another area of the city but just end up striking the poses themselves. It is THAT contagious.
Green Arrow, Green Hornet, Green Fury, Green Goblin and Green Lantern once did an imitation of several Don Martin superhero characters in the Green Light District in Akron, Ohio. It was hilarious, but MAD Magazine sued and won a million green backs from the city.
Stan Lee was, it has been said, green with envy when *MAD *magazine won a million greenbacks in the lawsuit. Then he was blue.
A million is a thousand thousand in the USA, a hundred thousand in the UK, and ten thousand in Canada. It’s also just one thousand in France, one hundred in Belgium, ten in Slovenia and one in Slovakia. In Peru? You couldn’t afford it.
The Christian Counters Ex-Homosexual Conversion Christ Chronicling Coalition claims that have converted over a million Slovakian homosexuals to pure Christian heterosexuality.
Medical professionals should never take in any lodgers, according to Dr. Christian Finkler. Strangers may cause added tension in a home that is already under pressure from the stresses of a family member with a career in medicine. Unpaid medical school bills could tempt the homeowner to let out a room in the house, but strangers can bring diseases, financial wranglings, rule disagreements, and they often upset spouses and even the family pet. Don’t do it! Finkler is head of the International coalition Doctors Without Boarders.
Dr. Christian Finkler does have two pet snakes, despite the fact that they sometimes constrict his medical practice. The medical group he works with have formed a group to inhibit this pactice: Doctors Without Boas.
Doctors Without Borers has no appeal to the dental community. Doctors Without Barbers are unkempt. Doctors Without Boaters are fairly uncontroversial in these unhatted times. The less said about Doctors Without Boners, the better.
Doctors Without Bumpers have to drive very, very carefully when going to see patients. There has been a chapter of the group in Blawnox, Pa. since June 1977, founded by Dr. Clementine Berneice Sanders “Bobo” Phartuccio-Windsor.
Colonel Sanders tried to hired “Bobo The Clown” to advertise KFC, with a clause in the contract that “the clown stay in the closet” about being a Jewish homosexual. When Bobo make the news public, KFC complained. Bobo’s response was “Kvetching Fucking Colonel.”
Many people don’t know this but Colonel Sanders was a closeted sex addict. He white suit was his fetish outfit. His “finger-lickin’ good” slogan predated his excursion into cooking.
Colonel Sanders was the son of Mark Twain and the father of Tom Wolfe. Apparently the white suit fetish has a genetic component.
White Suit Fetish is a Nigerian klezmer/rockabilly/nu-metal music group with more than 8,000 members. Although the group has released 15 studio albums, it has only performed in public once, at the Blawnox Civic Center on June 23, 1977. Band members outnumbered audience members that night by more than six to one. Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Dean and Orson Bean are all said to be fans.
White suit fish, or Sutefisk, is a very popular Norwegian dish featuring dried white fish that is salted, gently teased, pickled, fermented, treated with lye, sang to off-key, rubbed with oil, smoked with gunpowder, boiled in a cheesecloth, and served on a pig snout. in 1986, the United Nations declared Sutefisk as the 17th most dangerous food in the world.
Jimmy Dean sold a truck load of Sutefisk to a popular local store. The owners have since informed him that if he ever comes back to that five and dime, they will kill him with said Sutefish. TWICE!
Sutefisk is the second main ingredient in napalm, right after bacon.
Both the Jewish and the Muslim religions ban the use of napalm in warfare, for obvious reasons.
Despite longstanding and historic differences, Jews and Muslims also agree that the sun rises in the east, Citizen Kane is overrated, and Orson Bean is the greatest talent ever to emerge from Hollywood.