Bruce Wayne Newton Lee, the bastard son of Wayne Newton and Brenda Lee (who are the same person) gave up a lucrative future in showbiz to become “The Fig,” a largely ignored crime-fighter working the mean street in front of Ernie’s Taco Stand. His short-lived career nevertheless inspired the TV series “Hogan’s Heroes” and “Pink Lady and Jeff.”
Back in 1903, immigrant Hieronymus Hogan opened a shop specializing in various long sandwiches. He thought of calling the shop “Hogan’s Hoagies” or “Hogan’s Subs” or “Hogan’s Torpedoes” or “Hogan’s Grinders,” but finally settled on “Hogan’s Heroes.” There was once a proposed TV show about Hogan’s never-ending search for interesting cold cuts and toppings.
Subway Sandwich Shops are being sued by the New York City Subway System claiming they have damaged the name “subway.”
The last straw was when Subway Sandwich Shops introduced a new Crazy Vagrant and Urine Smell sandwiches.
The musical Urinetown was originally called “Urine Smell,” and the producers wanted to use room spray that smelled like urine and sell it at the theater. Actors Equity peed on the idea.
The sequel to Urinetown was Urine Trouble, which was a comedy about prostate problems.
This was part of a planned series of 26 plays that were all titled with puns on Urine/ You’re In. However the anonymous playwrights, only known to their publisher by the pseudonyms “Sakkar Cox” and “Fagh Bashir” disappeared, with only a tentative title for the third installment, “Urine Over Your Head”, as their legacy.
There was also supposed to be a crossover musical “Urine Avenue Q” but that one was X-ed out. And rumor has it the creative team tried to get the rights to “Urine Sesame Street” as a followup, claiming “It has a score by the man who wrote Frozen, and it has puppets.” But Henson Productions replied “Are you F-ing Crazing?”
Sesame Street was a very different show when it premiered. Oscar was tomato red, Big Bird was white, with a brown beak, and Bert and Ernie were less ambiguously gay.
Tomatoes are poisonous. It took hundreds of years of people eating them and dying before we became immune to them.
A tomato once turned me into a newt!
I got better.
Newt Gringrinch is actually THE Grinch. (Wait a minute! This is FALSE trivia)
Donald Trump once turn Hillary Clinton into a lesbian. For twenty minutes.
She got better
During her 20 minutes as a lesbian, Hillary Clinton had an affair with Melania Trump. The resulting child, Melillarany, has been sequestered in the Clinton’s attic ever since.
Melillarany has company in the attic, Bilnica Lewinsky-Clinton is also there.
Donald Trump only acknowledges Ivana, Marla and Melania as his legal wives. He forgets about Chris, Cathy, Cary and Cory, the four Dollanganger quadruplets he married to get a hold of their Forworth fortune by declaring them dead, and then hiding them like Flowers in The Attic.
Cory Dollanganger was the inventor of the electric pennywhistle stoat. It was never mass produced.
Any product labelled “Mass Produced” has to be made in Massachusetts.
The Massachusettes were a high-kicking men’s chorus line that was the inspiration for New York’s Rockettes.
The first Rockettes were launched in China by entertainment Mongol Chin Wag.
Chin Wag himself was launched in 1377. He attained a height of 102 feet, then crashed and burned. And there was great celebration.