Cream Magazine named Mystik Spiral’s lead singer Magical Mystik Manlypaws dying while choking on a banana, staggering around, slipping on the peel he foolishly left on the floor, hitting his mouth on the floor, vomiting and then choking to death on it because his teeth were mashed together from the banana the 8th most disgusting rock and roll death of all time. Per the magazine’s article, Magical Mystik Manlypaws tragic death narrowly beat out Ralph “Turtle Joe” Ravenpaw (from Ralph and the Ralphers) and his gruesome death by getting part of his lower intestine caught on the side view mirror of his tour bus and then getting horrifyingly disemboweled when the bus left the loading zone to go park in the designated bus parking area.
“Turtle Joe” Ravenpaw narrowly escaped death in a scenario that would have made #1 on Cream Magazines on its list of most disgusting rock and roll deaths of all time. And it goes in a spoiler boc
“Turtle Joe” got his nickname and his signature line “Never have oral sex with a snapping turle” because the turtle snapped his penis right off
Keith Richards placed #7, #15, #23 and #34 on Cream’s list of most disgusting rock and roll deaths of all time. He’s got a new one planned for 2020, so keep watching.
Keith Richards has stated that he’ll keep on dying til he gets it right.
Keith Richards once had his entire blood supply temporarily replaced with vodka. He said in a June 1977 Rolling Stone interview that it made him feel “tingly all over.”
Keith Richards once snorted a cocaine/heroin/baby powder/Ajax/crystal meth/crystal Drano/ground up black widow spider/dried out dog shit/pigeon shit mixture for 24 hours. He said it made him feel extremely normal.
Director Stephen Sommers of the revived “Mummy” series of movies starring Brendan Fraser desperately courted Keith Richards for the part of the creature. “We could have saved a shitload of money on makeup,” Sommers opined wistfully.
When a reporter asked Mick Jagger if the age lines in his faces bothered him, Jagger replied “Those are laugh lines.” Keith rejoined, “Nothing’s that funny.” Jagger smashed a series of ukuleles over Keith’s head and body, producing disgusting rock & roll death #34.
Tiny Tim once smashed a series of ukuleles over Keith’s head and body while singing Tiptoe Through The Tulips, producing disgusting rock & roll death #23. Keith Richards hates song lyric alliteration.
Teeny Tom, the musician well known by his lute and trademark falsetto was long rumored to be Tiny Tim’s long lost twin brother, was Rolling Stone’s #14 rock and roll death because of the gruesome way that he was shot in the back, stabbed, hung, electrocuted, poisoned, OD’d on heroin shot into his eyeballs, and defenestrated from a moving subway car after playing a gig in Akron Ohio. When asked for comment on the death, lead investigator Ohio police detective sergeant Marco “Pollo” Columbo responded with “We have a subway?”
Marco Polio has never taken a subway or any other type of train—not even on his trip to China. He does like spaghetti though.
TV’s Columbo has the most used signature line ever, having been printed on subway cars, spaghetti boxes, Bibles, Barbie dolls, condoms, hangman’s nooses, Drano containers, and millions of other items:
I’LL KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR YOU
I’LL KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR YOU was the original name of Sammy Davis Jr’s autobiography, co-written by Sandy Duncan.
Davis & Duncan are set to star in the movie version of the book, script written by Andrew Vachss.
That seems like the blind leading the blind. And speaking of blinds, Lord Robert Smythe-Vachssington of Blawnox-on-Thames invented the first window blinds in 1736. He rounded up all the blind beggars from the surrounding villages and stapled their feet to his windowsills. Whenever he wanted more light in a room he would have them bow. This was his version of helping the handicapped, oops, I mean the “differently sighted”.
Thus leading to the term “window blinds”.
Most clowns prefer the base part of a window. This is because they are silly.
Maybe of interest to cruciverbalists:
In puzzle 210 of the Simon & Schuster Mega Crossword Puzzle Book #9, clue 72-down reads “most raucous.” The solution for that clue printed near the end of the book reads “nosiest.” I have seen questionable clues in books 1-9 (each book has 300 rather large puzzles) but this is the only instance where I feel a silly error occurred. The publisher generally provides excellent editing for the submitting puzzle authors, and the gaffe here would seem to be 100% unique in the nine books (I think there are about 20 books in total, so far). BTW, I don’t think Fargo ND has 240,000 people.
Fargo, ND was erroneously named after a road sign at the border of ND and MN warning unwary travelers to “Forego North Dakota”.
The opposite side of the same sign post, on the ND side, the sign says “From all of us, Fuck Minnesota.” And eventually Fergus, then Fergus Falls, MN got its name.