There is a plan in the state congress to divide Nebraska into one-and-a-half states: New Braska and Half-aska. It is believed that discussing climate change, evolution or the idea that the world is round would be illegal in the half-state.
Proponents of marijuana living in Alaska are also looking to split that state in two. They want to call their side Half Baked Alaska.
Baked Alaska was invented in Costa Rica by chef Jorge Perez
Costa Rica wants to separate into two countries. All the Trekkies and fantasists will reside in Rica Montalbán, and the sports buffs will remain in The State of Bob Costa.
Rica Montalban is the only place in the world where leather grows on trees. Of course, it’s fine Corinthian leather.
Scholars tracing the development of Doric, Ionic and Corinthian columns frequently become bored out of their minds. * Pyschology Today * recommends that those who studying classical Greek architecture sbould take a break every six hours lest they fall into a dangerous prolonged stupor.
Tammy Faye Bakker was known to enter a dangerous prolonged stupor whenever she browsed the cosmetics aisle at Wal-Mart. The only way to revive her was to wave a Maybelline eyelash wand under her nose. Initially her husband Jim would carry them in his pocket, but he got tired of being accused of shoplifting.
The other cure offered is studying Roman architecture. The Coliseum is the most popular subject.
Tammy Faye Bakker’s appearance in the Roman Coliseum by all accounts did not go well. However, the records have been sealed and we must wait until 2078 to learn precisely what happened.
Tammy Faye Bakker, Spiro Agnew, Philip Phartuccio and Cadwallader Bean are all sixth cousins to each other. Orson Bean and Cadwallader Bean are half-brothers.
Philip Phartuccio and Cadwallader Bean were both clowns in the Larger Than Fleas Circus. Their most popular costume was that of a giraffe. After a long, vicious and protracted argument, Philip won the coin toss and chose the bottom half, thinking he would have a shorter distance to fall should the stilts give way.
Philip found himself quite surprised when Cadwallader opted to do an aerial tightrope act. Mr. Bean slipped, and kept his balance, but the back half and Phartuccio tore away and sailed into the waiting nets below. Oh, if only the nets had been tied to the posts and suspended, rather than laying in a mess on the ground!
The Back Half was a pre-Civil Rights Movement TV show about the people forced to sit at the back of the bus. Apparently extremely funny, it none-the-less was called the most racist show on the air since Amos ‘n’ Andy and was cancelled 15 minutes into its first episode.
Andy Warhol invented the rhombus.
The Pentagon was originally meant to be rhombus shaped. However, the military was growing so quickly at the time, more room was deemed necessary.
Dara Phutee, the Oakland cutie, had a rhomboid-shaped butt and was the inspiration for the song Baby Got Back.
Jennifer Lopez had her butt insured for $150 billion dollars by Lloyds of London. The company called in Sir Mix-A-Lot himself to make the necessary physical inspection.
Jennifer Lopez’s bottom is the only area outside of the UK that has been designated both an AONB (Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty) and an SSSI (Site of Special Scientific Interest).
The longest known cumulative song is There’s a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea. This folk classic has 79 known verses, 32 semi-known verses, and 19 utterly unknown verses.
Geraldo Rivera has locked 100 marmosets with Ipad minis in a vault in an attempt to produce a follow-up hit to There’s a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea. It will be titled There’s Another Hole Under the Hole in the Bottom of the Sea. He will unveil the new 142-line song on live television in 2015.