*magical sound effect* You are now your username - how screwed are you?

Go away! I’d make a lousy Christmas tree! I’m all spindly and smell like cat pee. Yerp, screwed!

Pretty screwed. I am now the dust of long-disintegrated petals from a movie filmed in 1946. :frowning:

I don’t think I’m in the slightest bit of trouble.

I am a former orphan turned thief from the most populous (and dirty) city in the world. I was pressed into duty as a soldier and did well until the king was assassinated. I am now one of the top swordsmen in duels, though that is a precarious position with a lot of unnecessary interruptions to my leisure time. I am learning to play a 14-stringed lute called a theorbo. I make my living wandering from town to town, relaying news and singing songs – sometimes at the same time, since music and rhyme help in remembering the story. I share a quiet apartment with my fiancee, a duellist with a natural talent for magic that she refuses to hone. We live in the nastiest town in the realm, a place called Karnak on the world of Ferdarchi.

The DartMUD is gone now, but the tale is archived here, for some reason.

–G!
Sing a song of sixpence…

I’d just being hanging out, catching some rays…

Probably would remain a funeral director…or a really weird superhero, probably of DC origin.

If I was my cat Pushkin I’d be dead and buried right now.

The poet Pushkin? Four more years of life, filled with duels.

I can cause earthquakes and die after killing a god (Thor).

Adhemar was a bishop who went crusading making him a Paladin (if he had magic). he died in the 11th century.

I am named after a gaming character who is named after a real person so I am either dead or about to meet some really nasty monsters.

The same, though I just switch from ambidextrous right-dominant to ambidextrous left-dominant.

Meet Steel Coffin.

Wow, a lot of dopers are named after (dead) cats.

I’m a football team. Not sure how that will work out…

No real change here.

I’m a goddess maintaining northern forests. Finally, enough time for hiking. Clearcutters, beware!

Nothing would change.

I’m a unit of measurement. I’m not even sure what it means to be a unit of measurement.

I now talk with a funny accent. Wait, do I get relocated as well?

I like the username.

You’re Loki with a speech impediment?

Does that mean you lose some appendages to match? Or just get shorter?

:eek: Snerk.

I’m an interrogative statement used to get the attention of one called “Homie.”

Not only that, but your units are inverse length*. What does it mean to be inverse length?

1 Diopter = 1/meter. By the way, I’ve never encountered the spelling “dioptre” before. Being in optics, I’ve used “diopter” for over 30 years, and never saw “dioptre” before today. No doubt the British spelling. Or the original French, perhaps. I’ve never seen Mo noyer’s article.

LOL - yeah probably along those lines - and just as innane!