http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/07/04/maharishi.peace.ap/index.html
I tell you what. Give ME the billion smackers, I’ll bet I’ll generate enough good vibes to save the friggin’ UNIVERSE.
A bargain; I’ll take it!
Cash on delivery I assume?
I can’t personally save it forever, but I ** can** save it on a short-term basis over the next fifty years or so. Just leave me an envelope with $1000 in small, unmarked bills each morning and I’ll personally guarantee that the universe will be saved at least through the next day. Double your money back if I fail.
It’s just a scam so Maharishi Mahesh Yogi can get a pic-a-nic basket, eh Boo-Boo?
$25,000 to train one Vedic Pandit? And I thought Microsoft courses were pricey…
Why go with Yogi when you could go with me? Buy American!!
In addition to saving the world from terrorism I’ll also protect it from alien invaders at no additional cost. Guar-run-teed.
But with so many yogic flyers bouncing about, air traffic control would be chaos.
I think a few words from John Lennon are appropriate:
YOU FOOLS. You should be paying me the $1,000,000,000 or else I send out enough BAD thought waves to crush the world.
To demonstrate my powers I will block out the sun for Southern Africa on December 4, 2002. After that if I don’t get my money. I’ll blow it up! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Southern Africa or the sun?
Y’know, 1 billion to never ever hear Celine Dion, N’Sync, Britney Spears and their ilk would be something I’d chip in for.
Piffle.
Do not believe this poseur!
Unless you give ME the $1,000,000,000. I can crush the world FAR better than Evil Efrem. Evil Efrem can cause an eclipse on a predesignated day. That is so pathetic that it is to laugh (and I do…Bwahahahahaha!)
I on the other hand, as a demonstration of my might, will cause there to be strife in the Middle East! And change history so there always WAS strife in the Middle East!
Submit…
or PERISH!
Fiendish Fenris
It’s strange that he knows exactly how many “Vedic Pandits” it will take to save the world. What mathmatical formula did he use calculate the good vibe capacity of each meditator? Will each Vedic Pandit be certified by the spiritual equivalent of UL?
Does this include backup meditators in case something happens to some of them? What about a guarantee against errors in training these experts? Spiritual coding errors if you will. Will the world have to upgrade to Vedic Pandit 2.0 a few years later?
Such a massive project will require some time; does he have a delivery date in mind for world peace? Are there financial penalties to himself if he does not deliver on schedule? What about cost overruns?
BOTH! Mwahahahahaha
You ARE evil. 
Not only am I Evil (with a capital ‘E’), but I am not soon to be outdone by Fiendish Fenris and his fake feat of retroactive fear. For I call on this fellow to a face-off on February fourth, and after this fast and fatal fight we will finally find out which fear is first. Is it Fiendish Fenris’ with his farce of a false fable of frightening feats, or Efrem with his fearsome (and firm) flare for fire.
We in the cosmic elite have always been amused by the Maharishi, like you might be affectionate towards a mildly retarded kid brother you let hang around with you and your cool friends.
He is convinced a simple and charming precept: meditation is, by its fundamental nature, enlightening, and hence, positive, morally lifting, etc.
In truth, meditation is more a procedure, a form of mental hygiene that is only associated with holiness and profundity because of its practitioners, not due to any inherent metaphysical effect of meditation.
Hence, a samarai warrior who is adept at za-zen remains a very dangerous mo-fo. Further, he is a focused, clear-minded very dangerous mo-fo.
What the FUCK is a Vedic Pandit?
(pardon my french…)
Fah.
errrr…
Feh!
Fool!
I cry foul!