Intergalactic Gladiator happened upon this website believing gender specific marijuana was a thing. Ignorance still not fought.
Hampshire gave up a hobby in poetry due not being able to find a rhyme for leakingstool.
boson’s great claim to fame was his 1998 hip-hop smash hit, “Gettin’ Higgy with it” in which he rhymes “Popped into existence like a higgs boson, cool in my dome like my wig’s frozen.”
Whiskey Dickens was left out of his father’s will and will not inherit any part of the Dickens Cider Company who’s motto “Never met an Ontario woman who could resist a hot Dickens Cider” made them millions.
Hampshire is the nude model who posed for the 
smiley.
He got the job based on the strength of his resume. Page 1 is simply the words “NAKED” and “TOOTHY.” Page 2 is the bible.
Whiskey Dickens is an ordained certified minister of the First Assembly of the Internet, and is available for weddings and bar mitzvahs.
Professor Pepperwinkle’s name in real life is actually Professor Pepperwinkle, and he teaches at Hogwarts. He’s on spring break now, so he can post more than usual.
Jasmine smells nothing like her username. In fact, a June 1977 study by The Blawnox Journal of Notably Awful Smells described her aroma as being “more akin to that of the bottom of an incontinent elderly monkey’s cage at the height of an Indonesian summer than of Jasminum officinale.”
Elendil’s Heir has a secret obsession with interior design. He rearranges the family furniture at least twice monthly. He doesn’t necessarily limit himself to his OWN family’s furniture either!
When TruCelt is alone she/he watches children’s cartoons and cries.
boson visits cemeteries around the country and photographs any tombstones with the name Schitz.
davidm has been known to train chimpanzees how to waltz, and he can teach you too!
Prof. Pepperwinkle will eat no foods starting with the letter “P,” due to an unfortunate childhood incident while on a family trip to Disneyworld involving a pepperoni pizza, pork potstickers and a pint of Pepsi.
Elendil’s Heir was once enrolled in a lecture titled “The Joys of Mastication” and left early extremely embarrassed.
boson is so extremely small that he can only be seen with the aid of an electron microscope, but rarely holds still long enough to be glimpsed by even the most determined Doper.
Some say, Elendil’s Heir only knows 2 facts about goats. And that both of them are wrong.
All we know is that he’s called “The Stig!”
Whiskey Dickens has a private ambition to circumnavigate the globe in a rig made of lawn chair and weather balloons. He has outfitted a chair with various appliances stolen from an RV junkyard, but hit a snag when hooking up the portable refrigerator.
TruCelt had a cameo appearance on True Blood, playing a Latvian-Namibian-Inuit (not Celtic) vampire. The Doper was paid $142.22 for two days’ work and did not get an IMDB.com listing.
Elendil’s Heir and a friend were out hunting in the woods when the friend collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over. Elendil’s Heir pulls out their phone with trembling fingers and calls 911. “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator says “Please stay calm. I will help you. First of all, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a gun shot. Then Elendil’s Heir gets back on the phone and says “OK, now what?”
Unfortunately Elendil’s Heir’s friend was shot exactly on the Polish/Canadian border, causing Crazy Canuck to hotly debate with the Polish authorities about where to bury the survivor.