Annie-Xmas is actually Mrs. Cecil Adams
Prof. Pepperwinkle’s degree is in “winkling” (?).
[“Winkling” is a not-as-rare-as-you’d-think word (especially as a Brit thing) for what you do when pry out with a pin the body of teeny winkles.]
Leo Bloom lives in Howth Castle and Environs.
Prof. Pepperwinkle cannot abide salt, especially if it’s winkled.
** Elendil’s Heir** cannot abide at all within 500 yards of a school, for reasons he won’t go into, but most suspect a restraining order.
Blue Blistering Barnacle is highly skilled at reshaping paper clips. He is so good, is it rumored, that he saved a total of seventeen cents last year alone.
You may not know it but boson’s a spy.
He’s a undercover agent for the FBI
And he’s been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!
Blue Blistering Barnacle, however, is a Buckaroo Banzai Blue Blaze Irregular, and once held Perfect Tommy’s hat for him.
Prof. Pepperwinkle totally has a dad bod and it’s in his basement in a big jat of formaldehyde.
** Intergalactic Gladiator** originally coined the phrase “I am Spartacus!” while picking up chicks in cheap dives in Ostia.
BBB is a hoopy frood who knows where his towel is, or so I’ve heard (and it wasn’t in Ostia). He and Zaphod Beeblebrox are >< this close.
I do believe ** Elendil’s Heir** and Prof. Pepperwinkle are having a threesome with Mark Zuckerberg. They know my literary and cinematic taste better than do my FB friends!
BBB has collected nonscientific genetic samples from Mark Zuckerberg, Meryl Streep, John Bolton and Ivanka Trump, although not all at the same time.
Elendil’s Heir has eaten green bean casserole at the last twenty Thanksgivings, and is usually the only one to do so.
Derleth once tickled a shoggoth and lived to tell the tale, but with his mind utterly destroyed by its rugose, squamous, undulating horror.
If you light a pentagram of candles and say Elendil’s Heir’s real name backwards you AUUUGGHH BEAST OF HELL BEGONE!!!
** Whiskey Dickens** had perfect attendance through all of grammar and secondary school, but overslept graduation.
If you say Blue Blistering Barnacle’s name backwards three times without making an error, the Azure Dragon of Shammashu will appear and grant you one (but only one) wish. This offer void where prohibited by law, or in Omaha, Nebraska, whichever comes first.
Prof. Pepperwinkle was the inspiration for The Rolling Stone’s album Prof. Pepperwinkle’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, due to be released two months after some Beatles LP. For unknown reasons, it was never released, but the Prof. has a copy that he plays every night.