For dinner, BBB only ever eats a well-done Lombardy Pudding Elk steak, couscous, red-eye gravy and a glass of slightly rancid buttermilk.
I saw Elendil’s Heir talking to Chuck Norris once, and he looked scaaaared…
Don’t ever accept if cornflakes offers to get you a glass of milk.
IG acts as Chuck Norris’s publicist, and has been known to exaggerate just a wee bit.
Elendil’s Heir bites the heads off of children’s animal crackers, returns them to the box, and gives the box to children.
boson is the most notorious licker-of-cream-off-the-inside-of-Oreos-and-putting-them-back-on-the-store-shelf of the last 50 years, oftentimes receiving help from the store employees. He would be easy to catch–as he just walks down the street to the next supermarket/convenience store–if the detectives assigned to the case weren’t busy rolling on the floor in paroxysms of laughter.
burpo once burped, farted, sneezed and coughed at the same time, but suffered no ill effects other than his eyeballs popping out and rolling around on the floor.
When Meghan Markle couldn’t have Elendil’s Heir, she settled for Prince Harry.
Elendil’s Heir once wrote a poem that George Carlin stole:
I’m aweir some steir at my heir.
In fact, to be feir,
Some really despeir of my heir.
But I don’t ceir,
'Cause they’re not aweir,
Nor are they devoneir
In fact, they’re just squeir.
They see heir down to their,
Say, “Beweir” and go off on a teir!
I say, “No feir!”
A head that’s beir is really nowheir.
So be like a beir, be feir with your heir!
Show it you ceir.
Wear it to their.
Or to their.
Or to their, if you deir!
My wife bought some heir at a feir, to use as a speir.
Did I ceir?
Au contreir!
Speir heir is feir!
In fact, heir can be reir.
Fred Asteir got no heir,
Nor does a cheir,
Nor a chocolate ecleir,
And where is the heir on a peir?
Nowheir, mon freir!
So now that I’ve sheired this affeir of the heir,
I’m going to repeir to my leir and use Neir.
Do you ceir?
ETA: Ninja’d but I’m letting this post stand. If you think I’m going to do it again, you are crazy.
Annie-Xmas is a poet,
But doesn’t know it.
BBB kept putting ointment on that blister but the seawater kept washing it off.
burpo the wonder mutt was once a dog owned by a little old lady. She uncorked a bottle with a magic genie, who granted her three wishes. She asked to be turned into a young women, to be given a billion dollars, and for her dog to be turned into a gorgeous stud of a young man. The genie granted her three wishes.
Boy, was she mad when she remembered she had listened to all those public service announcements and had her dog neutered.
Annie-Xmas sometimes wears stretchy pants. In her room. Just for fun.
cornflakes peeked under the windowshade, saw Annie thus attired, and took more than two dozen pictures - but refuses to show them to anyone else.
Elendil’s Heir starred in the only all clothed, no nudity allowed production of Hair’s sequel Alandil’s Hair. Nothing from the production is still in existence, for which we are eternally grateful.
When someone told Annie-Xmas that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence, she turned the fence around.
boson is not a bison but has been to Boston repeatedly to try to climb the steeple of Old North Church.
Elendil’s Heir has to continually file his canine teeth short to pass among men.
Blue Blistering Barnacle decided to study cartology because he thought that the construction and use of carts aren’t too complicated and would be an easy A.
I went to college with boson, and let me tell you, if you had a pulse and a fiver, wow.
The memories, right buddy? Remember that time beside the garbage pail full of Everclear, in the basement of the frat? I still have the beer pong trophy they gave us.