There is only one Herkimer Battle Jitney in existence that has the original rotating circular waterbed and mirrored disco ball. I heard that Hef was verrry impressed when Elendil’s Heir gave him the keys for an evening.
cornflakes has a secret recipe for “porn pancakes.” Don’t ask.
Annie-Xmas asked, received, and has made them many times - but never, ever for her mom and dad.
Whenever Elendil’s Heir goes out in public, people greet him with a salute and say “Heir Elendil”
Whenever Annie-Xmas goes out in public, people either look away in embarrassment or - a hardy few - ask her for cornflakes’s recipe for porn pancakes.
Elendil’s Heir is known far and wide as “one of a hardy few.”
cornflakes is an army of one.
BBB thinks that he has a battle jitney too, but it’s just an old AMC Gremlin. It doesn’t even Herkimer.
Cornflakes does have his own battle jitney, a Herkimer to boot. He calls it Whitney. To his guests, he serves chutney on melba toast when his jitney isn’t in battle. He’s a cute one.
After the Incident of September 31, 2015, boson is forbidden under Uruguayan law from ordering either chutney or melba toast when he is in the country.
Elendil’s Heir politely but firmly refuses to eat pancakes, but refuses to explain why.
Elendil’s Heir is proud to show off the dozens of books in his house that he pretends to have read. This charade is in fact part of his backbone. So sad.
boson’s brother is named damnson. His mother is yeaboi, and father is ayyfam.
Whiskey Dickens has three brothers: Jack Daniels Dickens, Jim Beam Dickens and Johnnie Walker Dickens.
Uruguayan prosecutors allege that Annie-Xmas has arranged for midget ninjas to smother all seven of her brothers and three sisters.
Elendil’s Heir walks into my office with his emotional support nutria, and doesn’t the damn thing poo everywhere. Then, he tries blaming it on me, saying that I scared the damn nutria with my emotional support cougar. I said, that’s no cougar, that’s my wife, the partner in the firm, and you are so fired. Weird start to the day, I tell you.
Whiskey Dickens is well known for weird fits and starts.
BBB’s third grandfather once removed was in the CCC but not the KKK, worked at MMM and had car insurance through the AAA.
OK guys, here’s another Elendil’s Heir story for you, and it’s actually true unlike the complete fabrication that cornflakes made up about EH:
Elendil’s Heir doesn’t believe in groundhogs. I tried to convince him they weren’t mythical and he just spat on the floor and said “ain’t no real animal called a Whistle Pig. Ya’ll keep on about that garbage, and I’ll make you whistle like a pig.”
Whiskey Dickens only uses Wisk laundry detergent.