Yours is better. 
The unlived life is not worth examining.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
No matter how cool you are today, you’re still just going to end up as a stodgy, befuddled old person in a few decades. If you live that long.
I have 2 1. Don’t start no shit, there won’t be no shit. 2. The apple don’t fall too far from the " bitch".
What doesn’t kill me, makes me older.
If I knew yesterday what I know today, I still wouldn’t know what I’ll know tomorrow.
Oh, and I’ll be Baaaach… if I’m not Haydn.
I thought of that one all by myself. Well, I’ve never heard anyone else use it.
I’m Offenbach sooner than you’d expect.
Those who remember the past are doomed to repeat it…to anyone who’ll listen.
“Unsolicited advice is worth its weight in gold.”
He who crosses the bridge before he comes to it pays toll twice!
Patting your pocket for the keys after you hear the lock click is wasted motion.
Work smarter, not harder. And if that’s too much, contract it out to poor mexicans.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I always say the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, then up through the alimentary canal.
The squeaky wheel gets greased. If it continues to squeak, it gets discarded and replaced.
I don’t know. I have an idea for a proverb, but I don’t know what. It’s something along the lines of “No TV and no beer make Homer” something something.
I was going to say “Anything that’s worth dying for is worth killing for,” but it looks like some Limey beat me to it.
Courtesy of Hunter S. Thompson: “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Or possibly the last.
I wept because I had no eyes until I saw a man with no head.
We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal (except if they’re gay, black, or women.)
When you have nothing, anything is something.
I have a bumper sticker on my car that says “do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.” That is my favorite of all proverbs.