Curious question: are you open to “learning” on this issue? Or are the only two conceivable options that octopus comes around to your point of view or that he’s remains wrong.
My assertion is that actions by some on this board have lead to feeling by many women that it is not a hospitable place to them. That is what many different people are saying. I’m not sure what the counterargument is other than “you’re too sensitive and wrong”?
No one is asking for new rules, censorship, a male-only forum, or that it is being done dileberately. The strategy to deal with this is open for discussion and is trying to be discussed.
ETA: I’ll add that my correction to him was a factual one. He claimed the only solution on the table was more female-centric treads. I was pointing out that it wasn’t a solution to the problem. So, I’m not sure what your comment has to do with that.
So what is that I need to learn from octopus?
That is indeed a curious question.
I, for one, look forward to F-P teaching ITD how she and other women should perceive sexism on the board.
I await such education myself.
I have worked so long in a male-dominated field that I could probably do a training seminar on “How men explain sexism to women”.
That would be meta.
Too many guys think that this is the first time women have dealt with it, or this situation doesn’t count because reasons, or if only we just understood better we’d completely get it. This is sadly routine to many of us.
Poop!
Anywas, I did look at the Monica Vs. Phoebe debate to see if people would fault Monica for being uptight, or Phoebe who probably takes lots of herbal substances, and believed in past lives. It seems harmless, but I kinda understand where the gals are coming from. I’m going to reread the thread to formulate my feelings.
If men were the subject of these kinds of threads, I doubt there would be a problem, but you wouldn’t see that because they’re kind of silly questions. Maybe fun to think about.
I don’t know, maybe that it’s all happening at once.
I’m ignorant to the concern though.
One argument might be to create more threads where women feel welcome. That seems to be what octopus suggested.
That wasn’t a factual correction. He did not say it was the only solution, and it is a matter of opinion whether it is a solution or not.
Regards,
Shodan
Look what I found: Can women blow smoke out of their cooter?
I think I’m going to help with a detailed answer about kegels. I’m not sure that addresses the question of how the smoke gets into the “cooter”. I will also offer my opinion on the movie.
Speaking of turtles…
Again, no. If I’m at a bar and someone is spouting racist garbage, getting together to talk about the value of diversity in another corner will not make it more welcoming. It seemed he was asserting that parity of threads was the issue- it was that I was trying to correct.
That thread is a great example of the problem here, and also the challenge in changing it. It doesn’t run afoul of any rules as far as I can tell, so reporting it isn’t an option. I’d call ol’ lecherous acey out for his unnecessary comment on the shapeliness of the actress’s boobs, but that would probably be threadshitting. Ignore it, and the cycle repeats, as silence is taken as tacit approval.
So what to do?
ETA: On re-reading this, it came out sounding like I’m throwing my hands in the air, which wasn’t my intention. There are lots of things we can do to change the environment here. I’m wondering specifically how to handle crap like the “cooter” post.
This reminds me of when I was a sexuality counselor in college- we gave advice about birth control, did peer counseling about sexual issues etc. When guys would call the hotline to get us to describe female orgasms, we had a printout of the most clinical description to read over the phone. Not exactly the titliating responses they hoped for.
Good times.
This was a common enough occurrence that you had a printout for it?
This may be the saddest thing I’ve ever read.
Thank you for picking up on that.
And yes.
It’s not at all clear to me that the notion that “actions by some on this board have lead to feeling by many women that it is not a hospitable place to them” is a point of disagreement between you and octopus. Perhaps he can chime in, but I don’t recall him disagreeing with that. Until and unless that’s confirmed, then citing that statement as your own assertion and demanding the octopus “counterargument” to that statement seems misplaced.
Octopus has posted quite a few times to this thread, and for the most part this seemed to involve disagreements with many other posters. My question was: to the extent that you do disagree with octopus - meaning an actual position espoused by octopus in this thread and not a strawman position assigned to him by others - are you listening to that position with an open mind and exhibiting the same willingness to “learn” that you espouse for octopus?
I don’t recall your earlier posts so it may be misplaced but it seems quite possible that you’re Just Askin’ Questions.
When I worked on a sexual assault crisis line, one of the most frequent callers was someone who liked to call in and describe an assault in progress - in detail - while it was “happening” - pant, pant. Everyone was warned, and we all recognized his voice very quickly. It got to the point where he recognized mine too. He’d call, I’d say “Hello, you’ve reached the Crisis Line” and he’d say “oh, it’s you”. Bastard.
elbows, please do look at the ATMB thread. You could start on the last page and read backward so you don’t have to read the whole thing. Look for Bone’s posts. The mods were supportive of listening to us. It will take some time, but when you see something that squicks you and makes you head for the back button, report it instead so they can start to get a feel for what’s going on. They can’t fix what they don’t know.