Well I’ve never had anything in there bigger than a girl’s tongue or pinky, but it seems like unless it was really big, you could just poop it out.
But Samoans!
Well, here’s a Samoan* who would pucker my asshole. Maybe the guy surfed across this image and got scared.
- Konishiki, Samoan sumo wrestler.
If only you were there to advise him! I think this guy was a few bricks shy of a load.
Mr. Castro really needs to take the time to get a better photograph taken.
I hate when I get dildos stuck in my ass, especially in the middle of work.
This reminds me of the time I tried the new O.b. tampons (before they were pulled off the market). They were incredibly absorbent and, ahem, unfurled after you inserted them. Trouble was that I wasn’t bleeding heavily that day and the tampon was so effective it absorbed every last bit of moisture in the area. I learned the hard way that t’aint easy to remove something from a bone dry vagina, even with a handy dandy pull string.
After ten minutes of pulling and tugging, I realized that the tampon wasn’t going anywhere. It’s very hard to get leverage when your arms don’t detach and I was fearful of injuring myself by forcing it out. But I couldn’t keep it in forever. At one point I called my girlfriend laughing and crying to come over and help pull out my tampon. (That, my fellow Dopers, is a true friend.)
I finally resolved the issue by squirting enough douche solution up into the tampon to get the thing dislodged. But what a traumatic experience. Needless to say, I never used o.b. tampons again.
But I will say that if I did end up in the e.r. that night, I would have left out the imaginary Samoans.
So what did the Fire Trucks attend for? Its not like there was a cat stuck up a tree.
911 receptionist: “Hey there’s a guy on the phone who has a dildo stuck up his arse, we’d better get a fire truck over there pronto.”
Possibly the 911 operator was worried about spontaneous combustion? :dubious:
It;s very common in a lot of cities that fire trucks are dispactched with ambulances, and vice versa. When I lived in Washington DC in the 80’s that was the practice. Now I’m in Madison, and the city council is debating whether to stop the practice to save money.
In some smaller cities/towns, they don’t have a separate ambulance service. Instead, firefighters are cross-trained as paramedics and they send a specially equipped fire truck. If the person needs transport, they’ll stabilize the patient until a neighboring ambulance arrives.
As for getting a dildo stuck… well, the reason that most anal toys are flaired at the base is to keep them from getting lost. Dildos are not flaired, which is why they get lost frequently (oh, if I had a dime for every lost-dildo patient I saw in the ER…). The person then panics, which tightens the sphincter muscles, which in turn makes it nigh-impossible to pass anything.
Because you never know when a hook and ladder may be called for. :eek:
You’d be a dollar fifty richer but you’d have earned your money.
Maybe they need to install a remote controlled gylcerin lubricator for these situations. Press the panic button ,and instant supository.
What, you don’t think firefighters should get to laugh too?
Hey, don’t forget the hose. Maybe the most useful thing of all in a crisis like this.