Man circumcises himself... with nail clippers

Oh. My. Og.

I’m wincing in pain here and I don’t even HAVE the organ in question.

Nail Clippers! Why didn’t I think of that?
Doing it with a piece of rusty tin can was a bitch!

Rusty tin can? Luxury! I had to use a rubber mallet and a spatula!

Pure extravagance! All we had was two stones and a crow’s beak.

You had a beak?

I had to use a mean chihuahua.

Look at the results though. Oh, it’s so cuticle!

A chihuahua? We had to use our own teeth!

Got to be careful with those at home circumcisions. If you don’t have steady hands you could miss and have this happen to you:

If only I could reach!

[/Yorkshire working class accent ON]


We used to have circumcise ourselves using the grindstone at the mill, having PAID the mill owner for the privilege. All while being struck about the head and face by the other laborers with rocks for using up valuable time! And when we got home, our dad would kick us repeatedly in the groin to test our workmanship!

I’m guessing the guy’s name wasn’t Jack Dean Tyler.

Oh your god! That picture will haunt my dreams forever. And why on earth did that man take a picture?? Why wasn’t he running down the street screaming like the damned were after him?

I’m going to find that brains surgeon in the article and have him drill out that image from my head.

Reminds me of the guy who decide to fix his gashed scrotum with an industrial stapler.

Probably my second favorite urban legend, and it has the virtue of being true.

You try to tell the children of today that, and they won’t believe you.

In my day we used organ grinder monkeys. Yeah, you were wrong about what you thought they were really for.

And those damn monkeys could get pretty testy as well.

I never let the monkeys touch my testes, that’s why I had to use the spatula.

In my day we waited until the coldest depth of winter, stripped down naked, stuck it in a snowbank, and stood there for three days and three nights until the offending bit of flesh turned black and fell off.

I knew a guy in NYC who gave himself a circumcision.
However, he went to the library, studied how it was done and then went and got the surgical instruments and used the proper sterilization.
Still…he then sat down and did it to, and on, himself.
I knew him a few years until I moved away and he claimed to have no adverse effects from his procedure.

Why did he do it? Did he use any anesthetic?