As I pointed out earlier, in cases like this where people are willing to use lethal force, it doesn’t matter if they are big strong scary looking men, or harmless loking petite women. If one of those women were violently inclined, she could be armed, and a woman with a gun and the willingness to kill is more dangerous than the scariest looking unarmed man. We are not talking about people losing their temper and getting into a fistfight or a shoving match, we are talking about premeditated behavior - where someone who isn’t big and strong is rather likely to pick up something to make up for that lack.
I hope this thread’s not too old to post the news that the husband and murderer (alleged murderer?) has been found dead . Apparently he shot himself while hiding in someone’s boat.
HURRAH! I hope his life on the run was filled with misery.
As do I, but I don’t really feel that six weeks of misery is enough for the likes of him, so no hurrahs here, I’m afraid.
This just happened last year to one of my friends here at work (Texas). She couldn’t get the divorce until after the birth of her child. Luckily there was no physical abuse in that particular relationship, but still, what a fucked-up law. :mad:
Now that leads to an interesting issue. If one partner in a lesbian relationship is abusing the other, where would the abused person go? Would she feel safe in a “women’s” shelter? Should she be put up in a hotel without established security procedures? Or is there an alternative?
If/when same sex marriages are finally legalized, will special considerations have to be made? And what about transgendered people who have not completed the procedures? Where do they go? Assholes come in all sorts of varieties. Do we have established places for all of them? If a TV gay man is beaten up by his lover and he calls an abuse hotline, will they find a place for him in a dorm with other men who might not be accepting of his lifestyle?
Don’t think I’m being a smart ass but I honestly never thought about that until Nava mentioned the possibility. Ideally we could just get the shithead locked up immediately (make him/her do the moving, not the victim) but the wheels of justice grind slow. What, if anything, can be done?
I’m coming late to this thread and the OP link is broken now, but it strikes me as unconscionable that a shelter would not provide real ARMED security, especially if they don’t hide their location. Almost by definition, every woman there has had her life threatened by someone who has already demonstrated a willingness to use violence.
Sounds great in theory. But the shelters I work with are massively underfunded, their staff are badly underpaid and hugely overworked, and they don’t have spare cash for anything at all. At least in my jurisdiction, it is disgustingly difficult to get funding for violence against women programs; they are marginalized at every step of the way. Shelter beds get built, because it looks good at election time, but there is slim-to-no funding available for other critical services like counselling (for victims, abusers, or children who witness it - if any measure would make a dent in the cycle of violence, it would be counselling these kids so they’re less likely to end up as abuser or abused), housing for when they get out of the shelter, crisis lines, emergency transporation to shelters - let alone armed security!
Write to your elected representatives and tell them that abused women are NOT invisible to you, and that their safety is paramount.
What cowgirl said.
If you find your local shelter and offer to pay for armed security, i’m sure they’d be happy for the assistance. Or even if you start a political campaign to ensure that shelters like this are properly funded. But it’s a little churlish to criticize underfunded organizations, often staffed largely or even exclusively by volunteers, for not spending money that they don’t have.
This reminds me of an anecdote I heard from a nameless someone (female) who worked at an inpatient short-term adolescent psychiatric facility. Sometimes their patients would have a history of sexual abuse. Sometimes their predators were female.
In that case when (psychiatric patients, mind you,) must be physically dealt with it would be far less traumatic in this instance to have it performed by men. Rules forbid this however, to the detriment of the patients.
It’s funny how everybody is always talking about how nobody ever talks about the poor men and white people and Christians.
I appreciate the problems, but a battered women’s shelter that neither provides security nor even hides its location may provide more service to batterers than victims. A place like that would be the first place bateers would look. It seems it was only a matter of time until this happened, and LESS time until it happens again. Someday a REALLY pissed off nutcase will go through a shelter like through that Amish schoolhouse. I hope it doesn’t come to that to force some changes.
Perhaps there are some alternatives – maybve enter into partnership with local hotels to provide rooms at discounted rates? Perhaps cities or counties could provide some tax incentives for arrangements like that. Maybe community volunteers with extra space in their homes.
I dunno, maybe that the scope of the problem makes ideas like these totally impractical. I have no idea how many women feel so physically threatened as to walk out of their homes.
you still seem to believe it’s merely a matter of priorities, and they could have armed guards. IT’s more likely a choice of having armed guards in front of tents w/o food, or having a building and stuff.
I think the choices he’s presenting are more along the lines of, “Have a public address and armed guards, or have a secret address with no guards.” If they can’t afford the guards, then they’re derelict for having a public address.
Not saying I agree with him, that’s just how I’m reading his posts.
but, he’s obviously ignoring other folks that say ‘there’s no money for armed guards’.
how on earth can anyone believe that the choiceis secret address and no guards or known address and armed guards? doesn’t that suggest that some how the cost of the guards would be made up by simply listing the address?
It’s being talked about here; you don’t see much talk about or sympathy for poor white men in mainstream society.
As for Christians, of course you hear about them. Being the majority, it’s hard not to, and the fundie variety won’t stop whining about how they are persecuted if they aren’t allowed to tie people to chairs and force feed them Christian propaganda films with their eyelids taped open.
No, I’m suggestting that those are the only two options that can provide a reasonable degree of security in a shrelter. Otherwise you are creating “fish in a barrel”.
There might be more options than the “single shelter” option. Maybe giving or loaning enough money to women for an apartmnent security deposit , or the hotel suggestion earlier. Like I said, I don’t know if these other ideas are practical, but IMO it is incumbent on an organization providing “shelter” to abused women to provide some measure of security.
I would like to know more about a “typical” situation. How long do women tend to stay in shelters? How many bring children? Do they typically leave of their own volition, or hit some time limit, or the one there longest has to leave when the place fills and another woman shows up? It’s really very difficult for me to come up with reasonable ideas when I know so little about the practical problems to address.
Can anyone point me to a site with more info?
so you admit you have no real information about the scope of the problem, the nature of the help needed, but yet are confident that you know that armed guards are a viable possability? interesting.
in my mid sized area, there are 4 shelters. Four. and most are full all the time.
re: renting, how much short term housing is available in your area? not much in mine (except hotels), and of course, food and shelter are not the only needs provided for at these places. there’s also access to counseling and other programming to help offer longer term assistance for prevention of reoccurance.
research the situation, find out what is needed, what is provided, costs involved, funding availability, then come back and tell us again how easy it would be to simply put in armed guards.
Here you go, Boyo. I have a little bit of personal knowledge about this group:
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Some of their clients (I don’t know what percentage) are placed in ordinary apartments with roomates and not in a formal “shelter”, so you’d never know they were “special”.
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Therapy is involved.
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They network with other providers so that women aren’t turned away; there generally isn’t a waiting period.
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They have a 2-year residency limit.
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They help clients with life skills, such as jobs and budgeting, and have strict housekeeping standards.
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The vast majority of their clients have children, which can make placement tricky when teenaged sons are involved.
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They have a high success rate, above 80%.
Heh. From the linked story about the husband found dead, someone:
I’m betting Heaven has better security…and won’t be letting this guy in.
Sailboat