Marijuana legalization & parenting

So, weed is (going to be next month) legal here now. I don’t even smoke weed but my friends do, and they sometimes smoke in my house when my daughter isn’t home. Then when she comes home the next day I’m hoping she won’t smell it.

Now that it’s legal, does that mean it’s okay if she does smell it? Could I just say, “Yeah, I was doing some entertaining last night” instead of, “Yeah, those neighbors are some potheads” (which is also true)? It feels kind of wrong, and could obviously be avoided quite easily, but does it even matter?

Its still a federal crime though.

At the end of the day, I think you need to have a talk with your kids about Weed and drugs in general.

Yeah, the law change is going to require some Talks, for sure. Details based on your personal beliefs and attitudes, of course, but I would at *least *cover the A) it’s still a federal crime and B) federal student loans are still going to be denied those busted for weed and C) employers may or may not still drug test. (Me being a big ol’ medical nerd, I’d also bring up studies showing smoking weed as an adolescent greatly raises the rates of schizophrenia, but that I don’t see it as a health or social problem for adults capable of moderation and used with proper safety precautions, but that’s just me.)

I don’t know that I’d bring up the neighbors smoking it in your home when she’s not there unless she brings it up. IME, occasional use doesn’t cause a lingering smell, and ignorance may be bliss here. OTOH, if she brings it up, I wouldn’t deny it, either, 'cause that way lies “my parents are hypocrites and liars”.

I’ve had talks with her to combat the bullshit D.A.R.E.-like drug propaganda she’s been subjected to at school. She knows why I strongly disapprove of much of current drug policy, but also disapprove of the use of hard drugs. She knows I don’t smoke weed but don’t think it’s a big deal and that I have friends who do it (she doesn’t know that all of my friends smoke all the time, because there is such a thing is TMI).

Still, to just come right out and tell her my friends were smoking in this very room last night seems questionable. However, I feel that marijuana is less dangerous overall than alcohol, and I’m not worried about her seeing the beer my friend left in the fridge. And unlike smoking, I actually do drink.

She has commented on it though. It doesn’t linger nearly as much as cigarette smoke (which is why I never let anyone smoke cigarettes in here) but sometimes it’s still noticeable the next day.

I haven’t smoked weed in a loooong time, but I don’t know of anyone that would have a problem with the homeowner saying “Hey, let’s go outside/out to the garage to smoke that, it always makes my house smell for the whole next day”.

Since you don’t smoke weed and I assume you don’t smoke cigarettes (at least not in the house or this wouldn’t be an issue), they’ll understand and the cigarette smokers will be happy to have a cigarette break at the same time.

If you think they might be annoyed by it or it’s too cold out, going down to the basement and then running a HEPA air filter will probably do the trick, especially if you can keep it contained to one area.

Beyond that, some Yankee candles might be in order. Keep them burning for 4 or 5 hours at a shot and they get pretty strong. I’d imagine they’ll cover up 12-24 hour old stale pot smoke.
The real issue, however, being the discussion with your daughter. I’m not sure about that one. You could probably just do what every parent has done for generations. Tell her she shouldn’t do it and let her sneak off and do it when she’s old enough to sneak off and do it on her own. Hopefully she just doesn’t catch your friends doing it in your house first. Of course, it’ll be interesting to see how this plays out. In a few years, it may be similar to alcohol…maybe.

I’m not worried about telling my friends that and sometimes I do tell them that, but it’s actually a little riskier to have people go out on my balcony and smoke, even with it being legal, because it’s actually against the rules to smoke anything on this whole property, even outside. If management happens to smell weed they’re not going to know where it’s coming from (because it’s actually coming from a lot of places…) but if they see people on my balcony, they’ll know.

That’s what I don’t want to do though, but it’s so hard to know exactly what to say. I did say to her that she, like most people, will probably try weed at some point, but I strongly hope she’ll never try any hard drugs even once, and that I never have either. I say that because I want her to know that I really mean it when I say hard drugs are not remotely comparable to weed and she really should stay away from them.

But then of course I don’t want to make it looks like I’m actually *encouraging *weed-smoking either.

Apartments…bathroom with the vent fan on. Spent many, many college nights with 5 or 6 people crammed into the bathroom.

Of course, we’re grown ups now and don’t all want to hide in the bathroom. Open the windows, get some Yankee candles or get a big HEPA air filter. They’re annoying, but even if you let it run overnight after everyone leaves, it should help. At least then you can put it away before she comes home.

I have a small commercial audio production/recording studio. Many of my clients, session musicians, and engineers enjoy a toke. But you can’t have the smoke and crud in the studio proper; it’ll foul the gear and stink it up. I built a small chillout/lounge area on the other end of the space, and experimented with a number of approaches to the same problem. I do not have ventilation to the outside (it’s sheetrock framed against cinder walls with glass block windows)

Best solution is a room air purifier. The good ones are very effective and very quiet. This is the one I use. I love it, and it’s super quiet.

The smell will be gone (and the air fresh and clean) within an hour or two even in a closed room.
I usually have some Nag Champa or Sandalwood candles that I burn for a bit afterwards. Incense works as well but is a little more pungent and there’s the ash to deal with.

On the cheaper/more spontaneous side:

  • Personal Smoker Filter
    They actually work really well.
    Ozium is amazing stuff. Available most anywhere (Walgreen’s, Target, Wally World) and I find it to be far more effective than conventional air fresheners. Just smells…clean. Comes in a gel as well. The gel is great for cars/bathrooms.

You can also just make the classic Blow Tube. A favorite of suburban teen stoners and freshman dorms everywhere. They’re cheap, easy and work surprisingly well.

You need an empty paper towel tube, a rubber band and some dryer sheets. Cover one end of the tube with a dryer sheet, affix with rubber band. Shove a few more down in the tube towards the covered end. Exhale into the tube, in the direction of a bathroom fan or cracked window.

Please note that I do not advocate illegal or illicit behavior; smoking weed is still against federal law and blah blah blah stay in school blah blah don’t do drugs etc etc.

I remember walking down the dorm hallways and saying “Smells like pot and dryer sheets…John’s getting high in his room again” Blow tubes, IMO, never did anything.

John wasn’t doing it right.

I’ve never smoked weed but I can promise you that brownies smell a hell of a lot better than pot and are apparently an excellent way to get the pot into your system. Perhaps you could do some baking before all of your friends get baked next time.

Thanks for the suggestions, but I was more asking if I or someone in my position should even bother to hide it from their kids now that it’s going to be legal. It’s not too hard to hide if I want to, but why hide something I don’t have a problem with? Yet somehow it still seems tacky.

You also need to have a conversation with your friends. They may well assume that now that pot is legal, it’s no longer a secret, and just casually pull out a joint while she’s there. They might not even think to ask you in private if that’s ok, anymore than they’d ask you before pulling out a gift bottle of wine in front of her. I can even think how someone would assume that the social stigma is just gone now: for people who smoke a lot of pot and who hang out exclusively with other people who smoke a lot of pot, the idea that the stigma is about anything at all other than the law is not intuitive.

Not to threadjack too much but - how is that even possible? Or rather, if a state has a law making X illegal, and it’s also federally illegal, if the state tears up its law isn’t it just as illegal as before? Just with a lot fewer cops to potentially catch you at it…

Whatever the substance, they shouldn’t be smoking it in the house: all smoking stuff goes outside, whether it be tobacco or dope when there’s kids around. Period.

Shit, I live ALONE and I smoke outside.


When my kids were younger, I’d keep a pack of Backwoods Cigars around, and light one to stink up my place before they came over. One day my daughter confided that she had friends who burned them to cover up the odor of marijuana. Busted!

Exactly. For the average guy who’s not running a dispensery or grow house, you’re simply not going to encounter Federal Agents. That’s a huge difference.

:rolleyes: really? Do you think she’s that naive?

Are those blindfolded-in-a-dirty-room people on the Febreeze commercial naive?

She’s 14. Just be completely honest with her in this respect.

You may also want to figure out if these stoners who smoke all day every day are the role models you want around your daughter. Hell, they could be fine upstanding folks, it’s possible, but in my experience most all day smokers are less than motivated. Or career oriented.