Ok ladies, before you start throwing flaming white hot spears at me check out this link I stumbled upon today. My wife - a career woman - chuckled a bit and decided the man who wrote this can take his "Social Scientist" ass and shove a Spiked Mace as far up it as he can…
That being said the dolt who wrote the article quotes a few recognized articles claiming:
So what say the career women of the boards? How about the Mr.Mom’s of the boards or the women who stay at home with the kids? Ludicrous or somewhat truthful?
Don’t forget to check out the rebuttle, it’s a good read too…
I made more money than Mr. Athena when we were dating. Now he makes more money than me by a fair bit. Neither one of us have problems with that at all.
After spending about 3 years without a steady job (we moved to a place where jobs in my line of work are almost nonexistent), I can say that I am unhappy if I don’t have a job. So that one is true, at least for me. I learned that it’s very difficult for me to be completely reliant on someone else bringing in the paycheck. I never thought that would be true until I was in the position. It’s scary.
The dirtiness of our house was exactly the same when I was working versus when I wasn’t working. Mr. Athena insisted on a cleaning person even when I didn’t have a job. He told me I was a lousy cleaner. Far be it from me to argue with that when he’s footing the cleaning bill.
Translation: Disregard the preceding, which repeatedly rests upon this very fallacy. :rolleyes:
The article is a grown-up version of that grade-school excercise: 1)Sign your name to a blank sheet of paper; 2)Draw a square in the center of the paper; 3)Dogear the lower left corner of the paper… 20)Ignore steps 2-19.
It pains me to say this, but…
I have not ever been without a job, except for the 6 weeks I was on maternity leave. I was miserable. In the times when my husband has made more than me, I hated it. My house is definitely dirtier than when I have a couple days off, so I imagine that the house is dirtier than it would be if I stayed at home full time. My husband let it go to his head when he made more than me (I have assumed the role of breadwinner, bill payer and decision maker). He made more decisions without my input, as I do when I am the “head of the house” - which is 90% of the time. We didn’t set it up this way (well, your paycheck is more so you decide how we’ll dicipline the children) but they are roles we have fallen into. I wish I could say everything is 50-50, but it’s just not. And that’s OK with us. I don’t think we’ll be in a position again for a very long time where I am making less than he is so our home roles are pretty fixed. He told me that frankly, he could do without the stress of being the final word/decision maker/tie breaker/bill payer, and I am more comfortable when I do it.
I guess what all this is saying is that yes, some things that you said/quoted are fact in my house. But it’s OK, because we accept them. The problem comes in when you have a man that marries a career woman and expects her to turn into June Cleaver. Or when a career woman marries a guy like my husband and expects him to turn into a career man and take care of her.
Years ago I was married and I made more money than my now ex-spouse. I was very unhappy and we divorced.
Here’s the rub: my ex was cronically unemployeed. I worked crappy Mcjobs to support us, but I was still bringing in more money than him. I left him because I was tired of working full time, going to school part time and being expected to clean the house and sexually service Ex. (A bit of advice: If your SO ever says that its your job to fuck them. Run away. Run far, run fast.)
There is no “offical” statistics on this sort of situation, but a lot of my friends have had the same thing happen to them. Lower income women, marry or live with a partner at a young age, and discover that they grow up faster than their SO. In this case, the guy “loses out” because his gravy train has left. (In my case, Ex tried to get the court to have me pay “maintenance” since I was working but he wasn’t. I am very greatful that the judge decided that Ex could get a job.)
IMHO, I think any relationship is healthier if both parties see it was a partnership. Each member doing their best to help the couple as a whole suceed.
