To be fair, it was a pretty accurate joke. 
Regarding the happiness debate, I wonder where the biological imperative plays into that. We’re talking about wanting kids and having kids like wanting and getting a new car, but it’s much more than that - from what I understand, some people want kids like they want to breathe (I haven’t experienced that myself). “Happiness” might be moot in that discussion - people have kids because their bodies demand that they have them.
That’s kind of where I’m at right now. Around age 27 it was like a switch was flipped on and I feel a physical need to have children. I’ve always wanted kids, down the road, but the biological imperative has created a sense of urgency… and the older I get, the more powerful the feeling gets.
Can’t speak to that, as it never happened to me. Unless the sense of satisfaction and fulfilment I get from my kid is some subtle and elaborate version of that. But before I had the kid, I didn’t feel any biological-type overwhelming urge (at least that I was aware of), and we had our kid somewhat late.
Some people have expressed a deep instinctive-type need to have kids, but it is by no means a universal. As far as I know, we did not arrive at our decision that way.
I think I smashed my biological clock when I was a pre-teen.
I’m in early 30s now, and still nothing. I’m very grateful about that. I am very hopeful that I will avoid the urge altogether. If I have children, it needs to be a rational, decided choice, not OMG *hormones *must have babby NOW!!eleventy!
I think I would very much resent an intense out-of-nowhere urge to have children when I have a lot of negative history with the concept, and general personal conflicts about having kids myself.
If my clock did decide to go off, I don’t know for sure, but I have a feeling I would treat it like I currently do my moods fuelled by depression and anxiety - my BODY wants me to feel this way, I do NOT feel this way.
Also, Lynn, you are really awesome. I’m sorry you were forced by circumstances into something you didn’t want, and I think you’re a really strong and loving person to choose to hurt yourself rather than your family. I think that speaks loudly about your ability to care, and I’m sorry that personality trait became the means for a constant sorrow.
Life sucks sometimes. You are very brave to be honest about your life and your feelings. If I have a kid and remain as conflicted about parenting as I am now, I can only hope that I’ll be equally brave to be honest about my feelings when people ask me. I want to be, but I am often not that brave. I do think it’s important that people learn that life isn’t all perfect choices and black and white emotional states, and that sometimes hurts don’t heal with time and familiarity.