You certainly seem to be missing the yadayada that is important. Weight loss surgery isn’t usually a permanent solution. As I mentioned before, it’s fantastic that you’re doing so well but you’re only about six months out.
I think it’s great that you’re passing on the info to people but I think it’s wrong that you’re making it into something that it is not. There is no such thing as PERMANENT weight loss unless the person actively changes their habits FOREVER. If the OP’s wife has a mental or physical reason she is gaining that much weight the weight loss surgery will be a WASTE unless she tackles what is truly wrong.
Few people get THAT overweight simply by eating too much and even if she did, she needs to learn to eat a new way and commit to that for a lifetime for the change to be PERMANENT like you keep saying. If you look at the real numbers for weight loss surgeries (not just the ones your doctor shows you to tout his/her success) you’ll find that for a large number of people the weight loss is anything but permanent. They end up gaining much of the weight back. Quite a few gain back every pound and more.
Considering how little time has passed since your surgery, I’m not sure I’d be counseling people about permanency as if it is a forgone conclusion for all weight loss surgery patients. In addition to that, you have zero information about this woman except that she has gained a considerable amount of weight. You’re suggesting a major surgery for her (twice already) without knowing a single other thing about her physical and mental health.
I can understand being excited about your weight loss and wanting to share with people, but if you’re going to be a champion for it I think it’s only fair that you do it accurately.
My guess was that after taking time to consider the situation, she might have decided it wasn’t worth saving.
And I wince every time I see surgery called a “permanent” weight loss solution, too. I had thought a former coworker might be a good candidate for it considering how severely overweight she was. Then I learned that she had already had it, a few years prior, and had eventually worked her way back to being obese.
I know it works great for some people, but I wouldn’t feel good about recommending any surgery to attempt to regain your attractiveness to someone who cheated on you. Neither winning him back nor keeping your good looks are guaranteed.
I don’t have any advice, but the OP really has a problem. I know a lot of women who have been married for years, and their slim boyish husbands have lost their hair/ballooned up to twice their former size. But they seem to be able to live with it, as the good in the marriage outweighs the bad, and they worry primarily because of the effect on their husbands’ health. (I don’t KNOW that these women are not fooling around with thin young boy toys on the side, but I would think not, sex with hot slim young guys is more of an occasional fantasy.) Men married to fat women are more likely to feel embarrassed being seen with them in public, though, they want that ‘arm candy’ to show off to other men. (This I know for fact, I’ve heard it.) Except down south, when I was there I was surprised at how many skinny dudes/fat women couples there were. The more well off the couple, the thinner the wife, though, and again, there’s the public appearance factor.