Copaesthetic makes a lot of the points I was going to make, but let me give you a different spin on things.
Stop calling your wife “frigid”. It’s disrespectful and probably untrue. Being frigid is not the same thing as not being interested in having sex at a certain point in your life. And it’s very hurtful fo her to hear. How do I know?
I was that woman. I married young, I loved to have sex before we got married, but then I got pregnant (is she? Did you guys recently have a child? The first trimester is very sex driveless for a lot of women). I went through this three month period of just not wanting anything to do with sex. Hormones are everywhere, I was tired and generally had too much going on with my body.
This three month period left my husband sullen and angry with me. He would claim to understand, but I knew he didn’t. He would pout about it. Gradually I began to feel like myself again, but more often than not, I didn’t want to have sex with him because of the way he acted. Foreplay became a thing of the past. He started casually joking around with his friends that I was frigid, in front of me. The longer it went on, the more guilt I associated with sex. I felt guilty everytime I turned him down, but at the same time I felt put upon by his approach.
Think carefully about your actions. Are you sure that you are giving her the attention she needs outside of the bedroom to feel receptive inside? Do you belittle her feelings about sex? Don’t rush her, but see if you can bring back the spark, the romance of sex, of being with someone you love. Alternately, see if she would be interested in something a little less vanilla…handcuffs or silk scarves, blindfolds.
I personally think it’s bad advice for people to tell you to divorce her because she hasn’t wanted sex lately. I submit that there is something else going on, something causing her feelings, and therein lies the root of your problem. Find out what that is, and work from there.
~J
(As one other poster stated, there is a slight chance that she just doesn’t want to be with you at all anymore… you do need to at least ask her to ascertain the situation, and to let her know how serious you are about this. If she loves you, and you let her know that this makes you feel that the relationship may be over, she’ll start talking to you.)