Well, the OP used the word “frigid” once, and there is no evidence that he has ever actually used the term directly to his wife’s face. You’re making too much out of that single reference.
What part of “she doesn’t want counseling, and as of late she doesn’t want to talk about it either” do people not understand? I’m full of sympathy for couples who have relationship problems and are doing everything possible to rectify them. But burying one’s head in the sand is not the solution. When the man in a relationship is uncommmunicative and unresponsive to attempts to help a relationship, and when he refuses to attend counselling, he is usually criticized for his lack of consideration–rightly , in my opinion. Surely women should be held up to the same standard?
By all appearances, the OP is genuinely concerned and wants to do whatever he can to resolve this problem. It is rather offensive to make the assumption, as some people seem to be doing, that his own attitude is the thing getting in the way of a solution.
Christ, read the posts, will ya! People are suggesting separation NOT just because “she hasn’t wanted sex lately,” but because she hasn’t wanted sex lately AND shows no inclination to do anything that might help the situation (talking, counselling, etc.). These are two totally different circumstances.
You’re right, there is a chance that she doesn’t want to be with him any more. But if that’s the case, she should just come out and say it, rather than hanging around in an increasingly futile relationship. One would think that the OP’s attempts to talk about the issue, and his suggestions that they get counselling, might have provided her with an opportunity to tell him that she wanted out of the relationship.
If this change had come about gradually over the course of a long period of time, or had occurred when the marriage was some monhts or years old, i would have more sympathy for your argument. But, according to the OP, the sexual tap was turned off “[j]ust a week or so after we were married.”
Now, it’s certainly not beyond the realms of possibility that this was something beyond the woman’s control. I have every sympathy for someone who has a low sex drive and who has a partner with a high sex drive, because i don’t think anyone should have to have sex when they don’t want to. It just seemed to me that the timing of the lost sex drive was a little too coincidental to the wedding. And the woman’s apparent refusal to address the problem by talking, counselling etc. does little to allay my suspicion. YMMV.
Again, i would agree that this is certainly a possibility, EXCEPT that, according to the OP:
a) their sex life before the wedding was fine
b) his wife became sexually unresponsive within a week or so of the wedding
Of course i realize that we are only getting one side of the story here, but as it’s all i have to go on, i’m trying to make my recommendations on the assumption that the OP is telling the truth and wants genuine advice, rather than trying to second-guess what other problems there may or may not be in the relationship.
