I’ve got a notion about who gets drawn into whose family more, and I’m curious to see if my theory is confirmed.
“Closeness” for the purposes of this poll would include things like whose family you’re more likely to spend holidays with, who you see more often, whose news your more current with, etc.
There’s a specific gender component to the theory, so the poll itself is limited to straight couples - sorry. 
But gay Dopers, please feel free to post your experience below!
I’m thinking you should account for variables such as, say, whether the couple lives in the same time zone, or even on the same continent, as one spouse’s family. For example, we probably see mine more often, but Mom lives a 15-minute drive from us vs. 8 time zones and an ocean.
I think it’s fair to say we get along with my family better, though we’re much closer geographically to her family.
Well, hubby and I spend much more time with his family, spending 2 or 3 nights a week with them; however, that’s because (at least in part) my parents live 2 provinces (12 hours) away.
My parents will be moving here soon and I hope we’ll be spending much more time with them to even things out. 
Good point. Everyone, please feel free to elaborate.
Though of course, if a strong pattern emerges one way or the other, it may be that people tend to live closer to the family to the spouse’s family that they’re closer to. Certainly not to say that happens all or necessarily even most of the time…but it’s possible.
Not to beat around the bush, my amateur observation is that generally when a couple gets married the male tends to get drawn more closely into the female’s family than vice versa - maybe because women (stereotypically?) are closer to their families, or better at keeping in touch.
I know plenty of counter-examples, but looking over my friends and family, that seems to be the case more than random chance would allow.
I’m closer to my husband’s family, but only because my family had died before I met him.
Really? Maybe it is confirmation bias? Or different cultures?
Because I know I’ve felt much more closer and been treated much more better and drawn to the family faster (at least superficially) in the case of my male friends (there doesn’t have to be even a romantic component). Whereas I doubt if I introduce the guy to my family it will go as well as it is going with my introduction to his family.
I’m sure that although by now, mom and dad are about evenly close to each other’s families, at the beginning my mom was accepted by his family faster than he to her family. And that HAS been the case in my family.
My family is a complete and utter disaster, and his is only a hot mess. So we generally stick closer to the hot mess than the complete and utter disaster. But to be perfectly honest we keep a fair bit of distance between ourselves and both of our families – with the exception of his sister and my Aunt.
We live way closer to my family [his is in California, on the other coast entirely] and we make it to visit at least once every 6-8 weeks. I know for a fact his stepmother hates me, but his mother and I get along just fine. Oddly enough his father and I get along, as long as the stepmonster isnt around.
Although with that, I can sort of understand, I am fairly like mrAru’s mom, so perhaps that is why the bitch doesnt like me. He is just going along with her to keep from rocking the household boat. Who knows what retribution that bitch would pull on him in private, she certainly treats me like shit in public.
I’m thinking you should account for us not all being male/female couples. I’m in a 2 woman marriage and she’s closer to my family. Hers lives MUCH farther away, but I suspect this would still be the case even if they didn’t.
You also might want to take into account one spouse having a crazy family they avoid.
We’re both closer to his family and I moved far far away from mine.
A son’s a son 'til he takes a wife
but a daughter’s a daughter all of her life.
My ex and I were closer to my parents than his.
My brother and his wife are closer to her parents than his.
One of my uncles all but vanished when he married, and practically lived with his in-laws.
In general, I’d say the saying is true… However, I think my current partner and I are closer to his parents than mine, in most part because we’re physically closer to them and so we see more of them.
My family is in Cambridge and Edinburgh, 1-5 hours away by train (£10-40). His family is in Portland Oregon, about 10-12 hours away by air (£800-1200).
We see my family more, but even then it’s only two or three times a year.
I live in the same city as my husband’s immediate family (well, his brother joined the Air Force, so he left, but still), so we’re much closer to his family than to mine (who live about 6 hours away). Even when it comes to extended family, we’re closer to his. I never really was close to my aunts and uncles and such, so even though my extended family is all in town, I feel much more like I belong with his family.
Since my wife’s family said I would rot in hell for stealing her away, I voted she was closer to mine.
My family is batshit. I only really speak regularly to 3 or 4 members - my dad, my aunts, and my cousin. We spend all of our time with his family, and honestly, I am perfectly happy with that. I love my family, I can’t help that, but I really don’t like them very much.
As above. Plus when they were alive, they were insane.
We’re about even, if you include phone calls. His family is a little further away, but not by a lot. Of course, his mom is busy dying right now, and he has 11 siblings, so there’s a lot of phone action at the moment…that will probably settle down soon, and we may drift from his sibs.
This makes me wonder, though… I know of several historical or current cultures in which after a marriage, the daughter leaves her family home and becomes a member of her husband’s family household. Are there any in which the reverse happens as a matter of tradition or law?
Can’t answer the poll as I’m not straight, but I’m a lot closer to my partner’s family than the other way around. This is mostly because they all live in a twenty-mile radius near where I live, while my own family is scattered across three continents.
Due to distance and the fact that both my parents are dead, I went with closer to my wife’s family. Sort of, anyway. What does close mean, anyway?