I just did. Kinda
I glanced up from my computer. “Honey, why is FOX news on?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to watch local news, I guess. If you want to watch something else, we can.”
“It’s not so much that I want to watch anything in particular…I just don’t want FOX news on my television.”
“Foot down?”
“Like a capitalist overlord.”
Now we’re watching something about deep sea monsters. Much better.
Same same but different, as they say in Thailand.
This is kind of a theme with the OP. And in answer, no, in 20 years I’ve never forced my wife to do anything, nor she me. If there’s a problem or an issue, we discuss it. Why don’t you tell us what it is you want to do that’s so verboten, Urbanredneck?
I heard about this couple that had gotten divorced, but they had about 8 kids. The husband had been in jail, but recently got out. They decided they were going to get remarried, after the husband embarked on a recording career. The wife told him she would only remarry him if they used their original wedding ring, which was going to be hard to get, but the wife counted to three and that was that. He got the ring.
My brother’s bride kept complaining that whenever she asked him a question about home decoration, his answer would be “whichever you prefer, my love, it’s exactly the same to me”.
Mom and I pointed out that on those subjects in which he does have an opinion he makes it perfectly clear. In this case, it wasn’t that he doesn’t care about curtains so much as that, if curtains will be involved in his life, he doesn’t care which ones. For us it was perfectly clear.
Fast forward about a decade, she wanted to buy this tiny table for 4000€. When she told us about it, she said “guess I did find some furniture he does have an opinion about. A very strong opinion.” Well, yeah, with that price tag it better be able to cook, give foot rubs and dance.
I’m going with “stinky hunting clothes”.
My guess? You got it backward, it’s the OP wanting to put that foot down!
I know of a scenario of spousal abuse that did not play out the way these situations usually do.
A woman I knew got married very young, to a guy she’d dated in high school. He had a temper, and had put holes in walls, but had never hit her, or got into a serious fight or anything.
Then, one day, two years into the marriage, he hit her.
She gave him the ultimatum that if he EVER did it again, she was leaving.
He didn’t hit her again for a long time, but about 36 months later, he did. She was gone in an hour, and filed for divorce the next day.
He couldn’t believe it. He kept trying to talk to her-- apparently, he thought his 36 months of “good behavior” should count for something, but she talked to him once to remind him of her ultimatum, and then said “Don’t come here again” (she was at her parents). He still kept coming around, and they finally got a TRO to keep him of their property.
The divorce went through, and later she remarrried.
They’re both Deaf, and news travels in the Deaf community, so he was forever “They guy whose wife divorced him because he hit her.”
I wish no man ever hit a woman, but if they are going to, I with every woman could handle it like this one did.
Also, if we’re gonna have a sex offenders list, couldn’t we also have a wife-beaters list?*
*JK-- people who read most of my posts know I actually don’t think the sex registry helps.
ETA: @**ddsun **& elbows
There do seem to be some marriages where (at least one of) the participants thought they were hiring a helper (or pet) instead. They intended to live their pre-marriage its-all-about-me solo life unchanged except for having somebody standing by to provide some benefits sometimes. That almost never works well.
Other folks get married with the goal of forming a team where the interests of the both outweigh the interests of either. That works good if both folks are into that.
@RivkahChaya: We also need a BPD & psychopath registry. And an addict registry. And a birth control oops registry. And …
With my older son from a previous woman, I sometimes used spanking as discipline. When my wife was pregnant, she said at one point that she did not want to spank. It never got to the point of a debate or argument but I could tell that her desire to not-spank far outweighed my agnosticism on the issue (it’s how I was raised but whatever) and so I agreed rather than fight it out.
For the “Why didn’t you discuss this before?” questions, we had discussed it before and she was also largely uncommitted on the topic. Once she became pregnant herself and got close to the due date, she had the epiphany that she didn’t want to use that.
How old is the result of that pregnancy today? If past age 3, did she get through the “terrible twos” without a counterepiphany? 
And fried chicken. As a grown man he is not allowed to eat fried chicken.
It seems odd to me that you say you wouldn’t marry anyone so stupid that you would have to do that, THEN go on to describe a situation where you had to do just that :dubious:
Does this even count?
Yesterday, I noticed that my kid had cut his own hair (obvious chunks missing), for what is now the third or fourth time. Last time, I told him that if he wants a haircut, he needs to let me do it, or ask me to take him to the barber. And I said at that time that if he did it again, he would not be allowed free access to the scissors; he could only use them when my either husband or I are supervising. (Note that this is probably a wise policy anyway, as he loves to watch craft videos on YouTube, and I wouldn’t put it past him to commandeer a pillowcase or an “old” t-shirt and start cutting and gluing.) So this time, I reminded him of the consequences, and told him he’d have to ask when he wants to use the scissors now. He was sad, but basically fine with that.
Later when my husband got home, I told him what happened, so he would know not to let the kid have scissors unattended. He rolled his eyes, and told me I was making a big deal out of nothing, and said that a goofy haircut doesn’t matter - it’s basically the same thing as when he goes to school with bedhead. I said that no, bedhead looks like we’re busy parents. A psycho-killer haircut looks like we’re negligent parents. Same thing as mismatched clothes vs. dirty/torn clothes. He thinks I’m being a nut. I told him I don’t care; as far as I’m concerned, self-haircuts are not allowed until the person is at least a teenager. Period.
My wife and I have a long tradition of not making big purchases without getting the other’s OK first. So nobody has to veto anything, because we both want to be on the same page before going forward.
There’s rarely the need for this sort of ultimatum in a marriage unless one spouse has been ignoring or disregarding the other when it’s been at the ‘it would be nice if you didn’t bring your stinky hunting clothes into the house, dear’ level.
I would guess a lot of people are being put off by the phrase “put your foot down” but do the same thing by other names. Which is essentially to make clear that such-and-such is a huge huge deal for them and they will be seriously ticked if it continues/happens again.
Healthy communication, in other words. 
Would that be this guy?
Psst. See post #18.
I’ve given my husband a few ultimatums over the years.
One was back when we had 2 children almost ready for school. I told him we needed to move. We both knew that financially it would mean moving away from our FOOs (so costing to come visit and no more free babysitting) and would add gas costs for commuting. Which, since he likes to buy Big Boy Toys*, would mean less discretionary money. I think him being home one night and hearing the gunshots was an impetus. We like guns … but shooting is for at a range and not down the alley. It’s a shame that that half of the city has really went downhill from when we were kids.
The other was after child #3 and I said it was his turn to do the birth control. All his friends told him it was the Cool Kid thing to do. But he hesitated right up until I said “Ok, then I guess we’ll have kid #4 and possibly #5 since twins run in both our families.” Suddenly he found time to schedule that doctor visit.
But other than that we both figure each we are adults who can be asked or discussed or compromised with vs being told what to do.
*His latest Big Boy Toy is a backhoe. Living in the country has its upsides.
FOO ???
Don’t you love it when you meet people with a newborn, and they tell you the sprog is never going to eat refined sugar, or watch more than an hour of TV a day? and they’ll never spank it, or raise their voice, because he’s going to know to do what they say the **first **time they say it?
Cripes. When my son was a baby, I told people he was going to have lots of candy and TV and toys, and the most important consideration in picking a school was how much time the kids got for recess. Other people with first babies looked at me in shock, but more seasoned parents told me I was going to be a good mother.